A Final Word

Forgive me reader for I have sinned. It's been almost three weeks since my last confession. Alright, I admit it. I have gotten lazy once again. I fully intended to write this blog a day or two after the closing ceremonies and it just didn't happen. Dont blame me. Blame Cheetos. And Laz-Boy.

Twenty days later and I think I'm still feeling withdrawal. I thought that the Olympics would inspire me to get some exercise. I envisioned myself running marathons and competing in Iron Man competitions. Of course before you can do that you have to get up off your ass and move. I decided I didn't like that idea. Although I'm proud to say that today I made myself a protein shake. It contained skim milk, frozen strawberries, blueberries, bananas, cherries, strawberry yogurt and vanilla protein powder. It tasted great and complimented my bacon and eggs and hashbrowns quite nicely. So as you can see, I'm still a work in progress. Now if they had a Seniors Olympic Games, then that is something I could get motivated for. I think it's a pretty good idea. They could have Scooter Races, Cane Gymnastics and I bet the Bingo would be pretty intense.

I've had a little bit of time now to reflect on things. I've also recently heard of a few things that happened behind the scenes and now realize that I was probably too hard on the Closing Ceremonies. I listened to Bruce Allen on Larry & Willy's Show on Jack FM (Bruce is the outspoken manager of Michael Buble, Bryan Adams, Martina McBride, Jann Arden and Anne Murray). He is always very informative and never afraid to speak his mind. In my last blog I wondered why they didn't ask Shania Twain and Rush and Tragically Hip etc. It never occurred to me that some artists would actually turn them down. Was I ever wrong.

Okay so here's the dirt. Before the brilliant producer of the opening and closing ceremonies David Atkins even agreed to the job, he supplied Vanoc with a list of four Global entertainers that he felt were essential to get to sing at either ceremony. They were Bryan Adams, Michael Buble, Celine Dion and Shania Twain. They asked Celine very early on and right off the bat she said no. Her husband Rene told Vanoc that they were trying to have another baby and she was given the year off. Then she announced that she was pregnant and later announced that she was not pregnant. At that point, once again they approached her. Rene once again said she was taking the year off. Then on January 21 she performed on the We Are The World song and on January 31 she appeared on The Grammys. Shortly after that she appeared on Oprah. Bruce Allen called her actions an insult to Vanoc and a slap in the face to Canadians. Yep, he tends to tell it like it is.

As for Shania Twain, apparently the rumors of her being in Whistler mere days before the Opening Ceremonies were untrue. She originally said yes to performing, but very late in the game backed out. At the same time she fired her manager. Vanoc tried to get a hold of her to confirm that she wasn't going to do it and they couldn't find her. They hired a PR Firm to find her just so they would know for sure. A reason was never given.

The biggest disappointment for me was from one of my favorite bands. Blue Rodeo said no because they were worried about over-exposure. Bruce Allen- "Over-exposure? They just do their crappy little show in the park every Summer that nobody goes to and they are worried about over-exposure? They aren't doing a whole concert. It's just one crappy song!" I don't understand it. It could have been a great moment.

One of Canada's best bands, Rush, originally said yes, but backed out because they didn't feel they were prepared. Now that's a reason that I can respect. If rehearsals weren't going well then I can understand backing out. (They could have always asked me to take over on drums if that was the problem.)

The Tragically Hip (who Bruce Allen refers to as 'Ten Provinces Tragically Hip'. When asked what that means, he said that nobody knows them outside of ten Provinces) wanted too many demands and they were given the boot.

One of Canada's legends Leonard Cohen wouldn't return phone calls. Bruce Allen-"It's always a big circus with him. You don't speak to Leonard Cohen. You can't speak to Leonard Cohen. You have to talk to his people." They eventually gave up on him and then when it was too late, he did return their calls and said 'kd's already singing my song, why do I have to be there?' More from Bruce Allen-"He recently said in the papers how proud he is to be Canadian and if it weren't for Canada he wouldn't be where he was today, and then he does this crap. It just makes me sick to my stomach." Or words to that effect, but you get the idea.

I think it is shameful for an artist to not want to perform for their Country. It should be a great honor. As Bruce Allen pointed out, if these Olympics were in the US, all the big American stars would be clawing each other's eyes out to get a chance to perform. The rest of Canada, all of us average Joes, can be proud of our patriotism. Those artists I just named should go to the penalty box for two minutes and feel shame. (I've heard rumors that Leonard Cohen has mob ties, I wonder if I should go into hiding? Nah, I think I'm pretty safe here. In Halifax.)

One of the many things I neglected to mention in my last blog was what a brilliant job I thought that John Furlong did in putting on these Games. Nobody on this project has worked harder than him or been under more pressure than him over the past six years. He insisted on having his cell phone with him at all times just in case there was a problem even though text messages would almost always wake him every night. Over the course of those six years, he's had six lesions removed from his face, his second marriage ended and his relationships with his own kids and nine grandkids have been tested. Was it a perfect Olympic Games? No. But when you look at all the potential problems, not a lot went wrong. The only big issue was the passing of the Georgian luger. That's impossible to ignore. But that clearly wasn't Vanoc's fault. I think Mr Furlong will be immortalized in this city and a statue of him should be put up in Robson Square.

Just yesterday I saw a picture in The Province of Stephen Harper accepting Beer from an Obama aide after winning a bet that they had on the Men's Gold Medal Hockey game. While I have no problem with the photo, I really hope that all of those people that were offended by the Canadian Women's Hockey Team for smoking cigars and drinking beer and champagne on the ice in celebration are even more pissed about this. Not only is our Prime Minister accepting Alcohol, but he's also telling all of those kids out there that gambling is good. Just throw a bong into the mix and you would have a trifecta.

I was really excited about watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Paralympic Games. I'd originally heard that it was going to be on Friday night, and then I heard that it was going to be on Saturday afternoon. I couldn't quite figure it out. Then on Friday evening I read on The Province website that they were airing it live at that moment. So we quickly put it on even though it wasn't mentioned on any of the guides. We'd missed about an hour and a half unfortunately. What I saw I was really impressed with and found it much more emotional than any moment in either Olympic ceremonies. Since it was supposed to air again at 2 pm on Saturday, I figured we would watch the first hour and a half then. At that time we turned it on and it had already started. They decided to air them at 1:30. I still have not seen the first 30 minutes. CTV has done a really poor job promoting the Paralympic Games. Very disappointing. I think if it was shown live and they gave it some decent coverage, the ratings would be pretty solid, after all, as I said in previous blogs, these athletes are our true heroes. If I were to lose a limb, I think I would just sit at home and feel sorry for myself which, come to think of it is what I do now anyways.

Since I began this blog I have been bombarded by questions and comments. I'm sure you realize that I'm much too busy to respond to all of my fans. I thought now would be a good time to respond to a few of you. Consider this my gift to you, the reader. (What were you expecting? A Quatchi doll?)

Anne Sutherby of Red Deer Alberta asks: 'Clearly you are one of the most brilliant minds of our generation. What made you choose to write blogs as opposed to curing Cancer, solving the Climate Crisis or running for Prime Minister?'

Corey answers: 'I'm glad you picked up on my intelligence. How very astute of you. But please remember that this blog only takes 7 or 8 hours a day. I've had plenty of time to do my Cancer research on Lab rats and Guinea Pigs, talk the Chinese into using Electric Cars and become the leader of the Liberal Party. I've even become the new poster boy for Cheetos Baked Cheezies. Thanks for the question.'

Rebecca Sinclair of Houston Texas asks: 'With your supermodel looks, why aren't you in front of the camera instead of behind a keyboard?'

Corey answers: 'Thank you Rebecca for the question. That's something I get asked all the time. In restaurants, I'm often mistaken for Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Ed Asner. When you look like a supermodel and write like a literary genius it's a tough choice to make. But I made it, and I'm not looking back. Besides, I'll have you know that I was once a model for The Hair Club For Men.

Darren McLeod of Whalley BC writes: 'Your blog has truly given me a reason to live. Before your Easy Chair Olympic Blog I used to spend hours revving up my car in the garage, (Damn those electric cars anyways!!) and several times I overdosed on pills (but then I found out taking a whole bottle of Flintstones Vitamins just gives me gas) but now I feel that you have given me a new lease on life. So thank you for that. My question is, I would compare you to Mark Twain or John Steinbeck. Who were your literary influences growing up?

Corey responds: 'Thank you Mr. McLeod for the kind remarks. I'm sure if I lived in Whalley, I probably would have slit my wrists by now. Hmm, maybe you should have tried that. To answer your question, my influences were definitely Danielle Steel and Dr Seuss.

Camille Fournier of Montreal Quebec asks: 'As a Guinea Pig lover I have to ask, were you serious about doing testing on them for Cancer research?'

Corey answers: 'No Camille. I would never do such a thing. They are way too cute for that. They do however taste great in stew.'

Randy Smith of Peterborough Ontario asks: 'Will there be an Easy Chair Olympic Blog for the Summer Olympics in London in two years?'

Corey answers: 'Another question I get asked a lot. I don't really know. Two years is a long way off. At my age it all depends on whether or not they have the Internet at my nursing home.'

Day 17

It's seems like only yesterday that that snowboarder flew from the video screen and landed smack dab in the middle of BC Place. I guess time flies when you are winning Gold Medals left, right and centre. It's hard to believe this madness that is Vancouver 2010 is coming to an end, but this is it, the final day. Day 17.

Sleep has never been a friend to me, and over these past two and a half weeks it's been as elusive as the Ogopogo. Looking at the pictures of every day of this blog, I'm reminded of Jared Leto in Requiem For A Dream. He looked fine in the beginning of the movie, but by the end he looked like a zombie and had to have his arm chopped off. Well the good news is I still have all my limbs. Last night was no different. I tossed and turned, stressed about the hockey game, worried about Luongo. I bet he probably got a lot more sleep than I did.

I had my Canuck jersey on and Ryan got out his Luongo, Iginla and Crosby figurines and I had my Baked Cheezies, and we were ready for face-off. (Incidentally, Ryan told me when the tournament started that Luongo had to play and then he would put his 3 figurines on the table and they would win Gold.) I said all along that if Luongo just played decent that the US would lose, but I guess I totally underestimated the Americans. They actually played a great game. Ryan Kesler did an amazing job shutting down Sidney Crosby for most of the game, and while Canada was trying to own the podium, Kesler was owning the face-off circle. While I am a big Kesler fan as a Canuck, he is horrible to play against. I don't think I could pay him a bigger compliment. It was a tighter game than I expected. I was kind of missing that wide open Hockey the Russians played, but this was probably the fastest game I've ever witnessed. Regardless of the outcome I was proud of the game of Hockey, and glad the World got to witness just how great it can be. Having said that I wanted Canada to win Gold as much as anyone and through the entire game I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. In The Province they said that Crosby 'saved Canada from a nervous breakdown'. I couldn't disagree more. I had at least three nervous breakdowns before Sid the Kid finally ended the torture and caused me to leap to my feet and circle the room at least two or three times. I will never forget it. It was like I was moving in slow motion, but I swear I did a triple axel, triple lutz combination and I didn't even two-foot the landing. There have been many historic Hockey moments in Canada's history, but I think this one tops them all (Canada winning the Hockey game not my triple-triple combination). And I will be able to tell my Grandkids that I was there in my easy chair watching the whole thing. Eating my Baked Cheezies.

Apparently I wasn't the only one celebrating. They showed aerial views of Yaletown in Vancouver, Yonge Street in Toronto and various other locations across Canada at the exact moment Crosby put the puck in the net and it was so exciting to see thousands upon thousands of Canadians going nuts at the exact same moment. I had tears in my eyes as the celebration continued. Canada beating the US in overtime in the Gold Medal game, the last event of Vancouver 2010? And breaking the record for most Gold Medals by any Country at an Olympic Winter Games? The best screenwriter in the World couldn't have written a better story. (Well he probably would've had a car chase in there somewhere and the guy getting the girl in the end.) I was so happy for Roberto Luongo. It was great to see all of Canada cheering for him for a change. I think he proved himself and in doing so came out from Martin Brodeur's shadow. US coach Ron Wilson after the game said that 'sometimes the best team doesn't win.' I don't know what it is about (most) Americans. Why can't they lose gracefully? While this game could've gone either way, the last time we played them we dominated most of the game and they were lucky to win. The US played very well, but they weren't the best team. I think we proved ourselves.

After all was said and done, Ryan ended up being exactly right in his predictions. Remember I mentioned he had the Luongo, Crosby and Iginla figurines on our table near the tv. Well not only did Luongo play really well but Crosby scored the game winner and Iginla was the one who passed him the puck. That's a little eerie. (I really wonder if he might be psychic. When we watched the Women's Curling Gold Medal game, on Canada's last shot Ryan said that they were going to screw it up and lose the Gold, and he was right. That's kind of creepy.)

It occurred to me today that in all the Men's Hockey coverage of the Olympics, something was missing. And then I realized that there was one key reason why it was so great that CTV was broadcasting the Games and not CBC. No Don Cherry. I didn't miss his ridiculous suits or ridiculous arrogance in the least.

After my heartbeat had slowed and my blood pressure returned to normal I went into town to get some snacks for the Closing Ceremonies. I wore my Canada jersey proudly, and I wasn't the only one. There were also a lot of cars with Canadian flags flowing in the breeze. What has happened to this Nation? Whatever it is, I'm liking it. Anyways, back to the snacks. (See how that always happens?) I bought some sourdough bread, some spinach and artichoke dip, some chip dip, Coke Zero and my infamous Baked Cheezies and a bottle of Chenin Blanc and rushed back home to watch the big finish.

I had such mixed emotions. I was very exited to watch the Closing Ceremonies, but so sad to see it come to an end. I'm sure I wasn't alone in feeling that way. I was pretty emotional all day and knew I needed to have some Kleenex standing by. (I think if I was a celebrity I would be a perfect spokesman for Kleenex and Baked Cheezies. Oh, and Immodium.)

At 5:30 the Closing Ceremonies began. I imagine most of you watched it but I have to tell you I thought the way it began was brilliant. I thought for sure they would've had the torch in place the way it was supposed to be, but they didn't. I love the fact that they made fun of it and had a clown come out to try and fix the problem. Way to turn a negative into something funny and positive. Now how Canadian is that? I would love to write in here how amazing the Closing Ceremonies were and what a fitting way to end an awesome two and a half weeks. But a lot of the Closing Ceremonies just wasn't working for me. Maybe I expected too much. The Opening Ceremonies were so spectacular and so perfect, (well almost perfect) and I guess maybe my expectations were too high. Also, after that amazing and historic Hockey game, how could this not pale in comparison? It took a long time to get going, there were many many songs that were not in English, and some long speeches. A group of people with snowboards came out next while a band I've never heard of sang a song that consisted of "Woah oh oh oh, Vancou-ouver" over and over and over again. Seriously, they went to a commercial, came back and they were still singing it. I've spent months trying to come up with an Olympic song, about the spirit, and about winning, and about uniting as a Nation and as a Planet. I still haven't come up with anything I would consider decent. But these people write "Woah oh oh oh, Vancou-ouver" and it makes it into the Closing Ceremonies? Wow. After all the Olympians took their seats and they brought down the Olympic flag, Neil Young appeared out of nowhere to sing Long May You Run. Right from the opening notes on his harmonica I knew which song it was, and then came the tears. The photo I have added was taken while Neil Young performed. It even sounded like he may have been in key. That was a pretty cool moment. I also really liked the segment involving William Shatner, Catherine O'Hara and Michael J Fox and then the flying Moose and large Beavers. (It's tempting, but I'm not going there, it's too easy.) I appreciated the humour as Canada made fun of itself. Many of the funniest comedians in the World have come from Canada and it's great that they showcased that. Michael Buble did a great job as always. He has so much charisma. I'm glad they got him to perform and this was one of the highlights on the night. However, having one of those Beavers hump Wayne Gretzky's leg would've made that moment even better but for some reason they didn't go that direction. I didn't particularly care for the Eva Avila, Nicky what's-her-face duet. We have an infinite number of talented singers with Worldwide appeal, and they get Eva Avila? I bet none of you can name two songs of hers. (And don't be Googling. Now there's a switch.) I was okay with Nickelback performing. It was a decent enough song, something about OD'ing on drugs and passing out on a floor. Pretty appropriate.

Another highlight I thought was the Sochi, Russia portion of the show. It was pretty impressive. Much better than Canada's moment in the Closing Ceremonies in Turin. At the end of it, a choir came out and sang the Russian anthem. I'm thinking it was about 10 minutes long. I would've had enough time to go into town and get some more Baked Cheezies. Not only was it long, but was it me or did it sound an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman? I was almost expecting Santa and his Reindeer to fly through the rings and land in the middle of BC Place.

After that the party began. Montreal's Simple Plan sang ('How does it feel when you kiss, when you know that I trust you, and do you think about me when he f*$ks you'). Now are those lyrics conducive to the spirit of the Games? And the IOC was upset that our Canadian Women were drinking booze and smoking cigars? Alanis Morissette also sang, and a few songs were sung in French. Personally I think we needed more BC performers and less performers from Ontario and Quebec. (Great, now Camille is going to be pissed at me.) The kicker for me was Avril Lavigne. I'm not a fan but she has Worldwide appeal so I'm okay with her performing. But not only was she the only artist to sing two songs but they were "My Happy Ending" ('don't leave me hanging in a city so dead, held up so high on such a breakable thread) and "Girlfriend" ('so come over here and tell me what I wanna hear, better yet make your girlfriend disappear). Now do you think those are appropriate songs for a Closing Ceremonies? Here I am with Kleenex in hand, expecting to mourn for the end of a great moment in Vancouver history, and Avril is singing something about not liking some guys girlfriend. Sorry. Not working for me.

I remember back in 1984 when the Summer Olympics were in Los Angeles. (Yeah I'm old.) I can distinctly remember sitting in front of our crappy old 26 inch Electrolux watching the Closing Ceremonies. All these years later, there is only one moment that still sticks with me from that day. Among all the stars that performed, all I remember was one unknown Woman who sang "Reach out and touch, somebodies hand, make this World a better place, if you can." No glitz or glamour. No laser beams. No fireworks. Just a Woman singing the song in front of thousands of athletes from around the World all holding hands and swaying to the music. That's what I expected in our Closing Ceremonies. Instead, we got Avril and Simple Plan singing about bad relationships.

I was glad to see Abbotsford's Hedley perform. The lyrics probably weren't appropriate either but at least the title, Cha Ching is pretty fitting. They ended with some unique instrumental band and dancers. I didn't mind it, but at the end they actually had to announce that it was over. I wanted a huge Grand Finale where you know it's over and you don't have to be told. Where was that big Celine Dion chest-beating moment? She was nowhere to be seen. (Probably busy trying to convince Rene Charles to cut his hair.)

If I was running the show, first of all everyone in the stadium would have snacks waiting for them at their seats, how can you sit there that long without snacking? It's unthinkable. Secondly, you gotta liven things up at some point with a streaker. How about Anne Murray? Okay, now I'm going to have nightmares. Seriously though, I would want some good mix of Canadian talent. I'd want Tom Cochrane to sing Life Is A Highway (it even mentions Vancouver's lights), Guess Who to sing Share The Land (I'm not asking, they're the name of a band, sheesh), maybe Rush could sing Closer To The Heart. And for a little Country music, how about Paul Brandt singing Canadian Man, or perhaps even better, Johnny Reid singing Thank You. Now THAT would've been a very memorable tear-jerker.

I hate to bitch about the lip-synching. I know it's almost impossible to have a show of this magnitude and have people singing and playing instruments live, but we as Canadians suck at lip synching. I guess it's to our credit. Our performers always sing live. But I must admit, the lip synching was not only bad, it was distracting, although I'm pretty sure a few of them did sing live.

And then after a Roman Candle or two and maybe a Screecher, the whole thing was over. Monday will be the busiest day at the Vancouver Airport in it's history. All those amazing athletes will head home to various places around the globe. The closed streets will reopen. Even the Liquor Stores downtown will get to stay open past 2 pm (don't even get me started on that one). This city will return to normal, but it will be forever changed, and I'm sure at least a half a million people, years from now, will claim to have been at that Gold Medal Men's Hockey game.

I really hope that Vancouver and Whistler have some sort of celebration every February. I would like to see it be a week long event but I think that is probably unlikely. They could have live music in Yaletown and recreate Robson Square and show the Gold Medal Hockey game and other highlights on big screens. I really hope that they make it happen.

I'm so glad to see these Olympic Games win over a lot of people. I think the people have spoken and they have said that these Games were a good thing. It's just unfortunate the unhappy people also tend to be the most vocal. I truly believe that the legacy Vancouver 2010 leaves behind will be a positive one and this city will prosper for generations to come. Time will tell.

As for me, I will probably write another wrap up blog in the next day or two, and then whenever there is something I feel worthy of discussing. (Although admittedly I could write five or six paragraphs on which tastes better, salt & vinegar or sour cream & onion chips). These Games have inspired me to put down the remote control and get out of my easy chair and do something. I'm going to get some exercise and start eating healthier. Hmm, maybe I could sprinkle some Baked Cheezies on my Caesar Salad.

Day 16

These Olympic Games just keep getting better and better and then soon enough, in the blink of an eye, they will be gone. Gone like the Titanic, with a soft gurgle and then silence. Day 16 was another big day for Canada. A record day in fact. But let's start today's blog by talking about what's most important. Me.

Vancouver 2010 has truly been an inspiration to me. I realize just how important health and fitness is. So from this day forward, I am switching to Baked Cheezies, and Coke Zero. I know what you're thinking, and yes, it will be very difficult. But with a lot of self-discipline and determination, I can stick to this promise. I also got back on the excercise bike for the first time in...uh, okay for the first time. Here is the photo to prove it.

Canada won a record three Gold Medals on Day 16, and not only lead the US and Germany with 13 Gold to their 9 and 10 respectively, but also now have the most Gold Medals by any host Country in Winter Olympic history. We should be very proud. I think the Canadian athletes are finally starting to understand the concept of owning the podium.

Canada won yet another Gold up on Cypress Mountain in the Men's Snowboarding Parallel Giant Slalom. Jasey Jay Anderson was the fastest down the hill. In the Long Track Speed Skating Men's Team Pursuit, the Canadian team struck Gold, while in the Women's event, the Canadians finished fifth.

Our third Gold Medal of the day came in Men's Curling at the Vancouver Olympic Centre. Canada's Kevin Martin beat a solid, pajama-wearing Norweigian team 6-3. Not only did I watch the game (match?) but I stayed awake the whole time. (Of course it's nearly impossible to fall asleep while eating Pizza) It was pretty exciting. This may cause another uproar among the women out there, but the men seem to be a lot better curlers. I watched the Women's final and it was not good. I'm just wondering why that would be. All I can think of is that the men would be stronger sweepers. Anyways, overall, for Canada to finish with a Gold and a Silver in Curling, I think that is pretty damn good.

At the Pacific Coliseum they wrapped up the Figure Skating with the Exhibitions, which are always my favorite part of the whole event. Not only are the skaters relaxed, but there are no rules and they are generally there to entertain the crowd. It's also cool that they are in the spotlight. Again Joannie Rochette stole that spotlight. She skated an old exhibition skate of hers to a Celine Dion song called Vole (Fly in English) because her Mother loved Celine. It's a beautiful, heartbreaking song that perfectly suited the moment. More tears shed, more Kleenex used by yours truly. I also really enjoyed the Chinese Gold Medalists for Pairs, Shen and Zhao. There was also an eleven year old male skater from Vancouver that did a brilliant program. (I didn't catch his name but feel free to Google.) If he continues to improve, he seems to almost be a can't miss Olympic Contender in 2018. I think it's so great that they do things like this. He will remember that moment forever and will likely be a better skater because of it.

Following the Figure Skating was the Bronze Medal Men's Ice Hockey Game between the Slovaks and the Finns. I barely had time to go into the kitchen and grab another bag of Baked Cheezies. This was a great game by two solid teams. Finnish Goalie Kipprussoff bounced back from a bad game against the US and the Finns came from behind and beat the Slovaks 5-3. The Slovaks were a little unlucky not to tie it up late in the game. Pavol Demitra played awesome once again and was definitely one of the best forwards of the tournament. There is a good chance he will win the scoring race for the entire event. I just hope that he puts that much effort and intensity in when he returns to the Canucks. If he can play like that, the Canucks will be a lot more dangerous. Hell, we may even make the Playoffs. I know. That's crazy talk.

I have bought a lot of Olympic Merchandise over the last few months. One might even suggest that I've become obsessed. I bought a large plastic bin that I will store it all in once the Games are over. I'll be putting my Olympic Coin Collection, 3 Olympic Pins, a Quatchi stuffed animal, Olympic Program, Olympic Hockey Program, Olympic Torch Run Book, Red Olympic Mittens and every edition of The Province (and The Vancouver Sun on Saturdays) into my bin. I will continue to wear all my Olympic clothing and then when they are worn out or are too small for me, I will forge Wayne Gretzky's name on them and sell them on E-bay. My point in all this useless drivel is that I was intending to order the Official Blu-Ray box set of Vancouver 2010. I went to CTVOlympics.ca and checked it out. It was $80 which isn't too bad for 5 discs. The problem is that since Visa is a Sponsor of the Games, I can't use my Mastercard. And to make matters worse, it doesn't look like it will be available in stores. I have a real problem with excluding a large group of Olympic supporters (people with Mastercard and American Express) because of sponsorship money. I compare it to an artist who sells their album exclusively at Walmart. (I spit on any artist that sells out to Walmart just to make a few extra million and screws their fans that don't live anywhere near one. Except for the Eagles. I like them.) After checking the frequently asked questions on the CTV website, I discovered that there is a toll-free number you can call and then set up a way to write them a cheque for the order. So now I feel better. I have no problem bouncing a cheque to get my Commemorative Olympic DVD.

Day 17, and sadly, the final day, is the day all Canadians have been waiting for. Yep, it's the big Men's 50 km Cross Country Skiing. Should be exciting. Besides that, the Gold Medal Ice Hockey game features Canada taking on the US. It will be fast paced, exciting, with some heavy hits and some great goaltending. And my blood pressure will probably go through the roof. I saw on Twitter that someone put "Canada, closed on Sunday between noon and 3pm". That pretty much sums it up. Not to mention that this is the hottest ticket in Canadian Sports history. Even hotter than a Raptors ticket. There are suites available in Canada Hockey Place for $138,000 dollars. That's not a joke. I'm serious. I'm thinking for that much I expect my own lifetime parking spot and half the shares in the Canucks. $138,000? All I can think about is that would buy me a whole lot of Pizza and Baked Cheezies. Anyways, back to the game (notice how anything I talk about always leads to food) I think the key will be Goaltending. The only way the US wins is if Ryan Miller badly outplays Luongo. I don't think that will happen but this is the equivalent to a game 7 in the Stanley Cup Final and anything can happen. I have a strong feeling that I'll be sitting on the very edge of my comfy easy chair, probably watching the game through my fingers.

A few hours after the big Gold Medal Hockey game, the Closing Ceremonies are set for right across the street at BC Place. I'm very excited about it but I will also be very sad when it's over. I guess I will have to go back to my normal life of watching Wheel Of Fortune and reruns of The Golden Girls. Maybe I should start a blog about that. Either way, as I've said many times before, the legacy will live on and most importantly, the lives of Millions of children, in Canada and around the World will be forever altered by Vancouver 2010. And tomorrow, that legacy begins.

Day 15

Before I begin discussing some of the amazing events that happened in the Vancouver Olympics on Day 15, there are much more pressing matters that I feel I need to deal with.

It has come to my attention that there are certain women who are offended by some of my comments. I first learned of it this afternoon while watching Oprah. Were Jane Fonda and Billy Jean King ever pissed at me. I think there has been an overreaction. They claim that I said something offensive, when all I really said was that women shouldn't be allowed to vote, drive or go out in public with their faces covered. Well, actually that last one was just a thought. I don't think that's so bad. I'm perfectly okay with them using regular drinking fountains and sitting at the front of the bus. Anyways, as a precaution I have beefed up security around my house (bought pepper spray) and acquired a vicious guard dog (Poodle). So, to diffuse the situation I offer this apology: I am very sorry if I've offended anyone. It was my goal to offend everyone, and clearly I have failed. So from Day 15 forward, I will try to treat women in my blogs with the utmost respect. But since I now know that women are actually reading my blogs, I'm going to dumb things down just a little.

Day 15 was another great day for Canada. I think I can take a little credit on the Canadian team's good fortunes the last five days. I went to Vancouver on Monday and that's when this Gold Medal streak began. I've always said it's not a party until I show up. In Men's Short Track Speed Skating 500 metres, Canadian's Charles Hamelin and Francois-Louis Tremblay took the Gold and Bronze Medals. They later teamed up with three other team-mates to win Gold in the Men's 5000 metre relay. In the Women's Curling Gold Medal game, Canada took on Sweden. The Canadians appeared to be in control for the last two ends but miscues kept Sweden in the game and then one final miscue by Canada gave Sweden the victory and the Gold Medal. It was a very exciting game and a big disappointment for the Canadian team but they should still be proud of their Silver Medal. Watching Women's Curling is so exciting. Women are great.

Today was the big day for the Men's Hockey semi-finals. The early game saw the US play Finland. Shockingly the US scored six goals on their first eleven shots. And no, Dan Cloutier wasn't in net. It was Kiprussoff. If you remember, he's the one who said he wouldn't play for his home country unless they guaranteed him the starting position. Not exactly a team player. As I said in one of my early Olympic Blogs, the Finns only chance at a Medal is if Anti Niittymaki plays in goal. He didn't even get a start in fact and, well looky here, no medal, well okay, they may win a Bronze. If I'm a coach, no player would be on my team if they wanted a guarantee to be a starting goalie or first line player. You play well and you will be on the ice. Everyone has to put the team first. The US came out flying in this game but even they were surprised at how easy it was. The bad news for them is that they haven't really had a true test yet, besides the Canadians who dominated them for a large part of that game. This easy game may hurt the US in the finals.

In the second semi-final Canada played the Slovaks. I thought Canada looked a little tentative at first but did get out to a 3-0 lead. In the third period Roberto Luongo let in an uncharacteristically bad goal as he failed to cover his post and a puck rolled up his stick and went in just above his pad. That gave the Slovak's life and they kept coming as Canada began breaking down in their own zone. The Slovak's made it 3-2 with about 5 minutes left in the game which felt like an eternity. At that point I was thinking that if anyone is going to tie this game up it's going to be Canuck forward Pavol Demitra. In the dying seconds of the game he got his chance and with a seemingly open net Luongo got a piece of his arm on the puck and it stayed out. They got a scare, and so did I, I'm too old for all this suspense. Canada plays the US at noon on Sunday for the Gold Medal. It should be a great game. The US is already starting a war of words lead by chief mouthpiece Patrick Kane. I still think the only way the US can win this game is if their goalie Ryan Miller badly outplays Luongo. I can't wait for the puck to drop, I'm sure our whole country will be watching.

I guess it's just not possible for a day to go by during these Olympics without some major controversy. The latest is that the Canadian Women's Hockey Team, after celebrating their Gold Medal win on Day 14 against the US, went back out on the ice with beer, champagne and cigars and posed for pictures. I know, I was shocked too. I'm sure the youth of our country will now become alcoholics and cigar chain smokers. There goes our chances at future Gold Medals, we're doomed. I don't know, maybe it wasn't the best idea, but is this really a story? (Incidentally, any women who are alcoholics or chain smokers were only brought to that point by men.) My only concern would be spilling booze on the ice. I don't imagine that would be very good for it. I think it's more than a little hypocritical for the IOC to have a problem with this but they are okay with McDonald's and Coke being core sponsors. I'd say a little champagne on occasion is better than clogging your arteries with a triple cheeseburger and super-sized fries.

I also heard on the news that all liquor stores in the Downtown Vancouver area will have to close at 7pm on Friday and Saturday nights. I just don't get it. We spent over a Billion dollars on security. Why not let them do their jobs? And of course the big question is, what are the panhandling alcoholics going to do after 7? Oh I know, head to the safe injection site.

Well we are less than 48 hours from the Closing Ceremonies and I've been giving it a little bit of thought as to who will perform. I've read that Shania Twain is at Whistler, Neil Young is in town and Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have also been spotted. I would be willing to bet that they will all be singing. I'll predict that Nickelback will sing Photograph while they show photos of the Games (I hope they don't, that would be cheezy), whatever Neil Young sings he will be sharp, Shania will sing Who's Bed Have Your Boots Been Under while they show photos of Tiger Woods and lastly, I predict that if Avril Lavigne sings Sk8er Boi, I will be changing the channel. At least that won't be difficult, since it is always right by my side, like a true friend. Along with my nacho chips. I'm pretty sure that Michael Buble will perform and I really hope he does Feelin' Good. That would be a great moment. Vanoc President John Furlong called me the other day to beg me to come down and perform, but I told him I had this blog to write and that is more important. He was devastated but he did eventually find a replacement. And I wish William Hung good luck.

Day 16 will have the Men's Curling Gold Medal game featuring Canada versus Norway (and those crazy pants, I think that team should be sponsored by Ibuprofen), the Men's Ice Hockey Bronze Medal game with Finland taking on Slovakia (should be a great game, do the Finns start Kipprusoff?), and one of my personal favorites, the Figure Skating Exhibiton Gala. It's always bothered me that in amateur skating you can't have vocals in the music and you can't do back flips. In the Exhibitions, there are no rules. Plus everyone is relaxed and having fun.

Canada is now in third in the Medal count with 21 medals, but more importantly we lead in Gold Medals with 10, ahead of Germany (9) and the US (8). It's a pretty good bet that we will increase those medal totals, and it's a sure bet that I'll be here in my easy chair to witness all the action.

Day 14

The Headline in the Sports section of The Province read 'Bravo Joannie', but I kinda like 'Joannie Loves Quatchi' myself. Day 14 at the Vancouver Olympics was yet another amazing day to be a sports fan. There was drama. There was suspense. And there were tears. Many, many tears. And I'm only speaking for myself. The Joannie I was referring to is Canada's Joannie Rochette, who was competing in the Ladies Figure Skating. As most of you know, her Mother flew in from Quebec last Saturday, and died suddenly in Vancouver General Hospital on Sunday. She skated the Short Program flawlessly on Tuesday and then broke down and cried on her coach's shoulder. Thursday night at the Pacific Coliseum was the Free Skate. I have previously made fun of women falling all over the ice in the Pairs competition but it was a magical night for most of the women on Day 14. There were some amazing performances. None more emotional than Rochette's. Hers wasn't flawless, but on this night, under these circumstances, it was spectacular. The crowd were on their feet when it was over and, unlike during the Short Program, she was able to keep herself under control. I wish I could say the same for myself. She ended up winning the Bronze Medal, and I'm sure her Mother was watching over her from somewhere beaming with pride. Yu-Na Kim from South Korea skated flawlessly while Canadian coach Brian Orser looked on. She took the Gold Medal by a wide margin. Mao Asada of Japan took the Silver.

Both the men and women played their semi-finals on Day 14. In the Women's, Canada got past Switzerland 6-5 and Sweden beat China 9-4. In the Men's event, Canada beat Sweden 6-3 and Norway beat Switzerland 7-5. The Women's final is today and the Men's final is Saturday. When asked if he was excited to be in the Gold Medal game, Canadian skip Kevin Martin said "Yep, yep, YEP, HURRY!!"

Probably the most anticipated event on this day was the Women's Ice Hockey Final, featuring the two dominant teams, the US and Canada. There has been some trash talking going on in recent days. Women can be bitches. That's all I have to say. Let's just move on. It was a very exciting and intense game. Canada ended up winning 2-0 with Marie-Philip Poulin scoring both goals and goaltender Shannon Szabados doing everything except a double back-flip with a triple twist to earn her shutout. The Canadian women celebrated while the American women cried. It doesn't get any better than that.

The Gold Medal our Women's Ice Hockey Team won brought us to a total of 8 Gold Medals tying us for first with the US and Germany. That's pretty impressive company. We have a really good chance of at least three more, but I don't want to jinx it so I'm not going to get any more specific than that. Although we haven't necessarily 'owned the Podium' this Olympics, I think we've done very well. I still don't know who came up with that stupid phrase. Having said that, when I have diarrhea, I tend to 'own the Immodium'. Okay, now that was just unnecessary. Forget I even said that. Or had diarrhea.

The reason I created The Easy Chair Olympic Blog was because I wanted it to be like my own journal, a souvenir from the Games that I could look back on. (Incidentally, for weeks I had planned to call it "The Armchair Olympic Blog" and I was mortified when I saw that exact heading in The Province two days before the Opening Ceremonies.) I had no idea if anyone would actually read it, I just thought it would be fun. It's not like I was trying to become the second coming of Edgar Allan Poe or anything, but the fact that I have is just a bonus.

Well we are only 3 days away from the end of this amazing ride. It's a ride that I'm very reluctant to get off of. On the bright side, this Legacy will last forever and many people around the World will look very favorably upon Vancouver for years to come. And perhaps even more importantly, we will be even more proud of this fine city in this spectacularly beautiful Province. While they may extinguish the torch, they will never extinguish the torch in our Hearts. Hmm, maybe I should be writing Hallmark Cards.

Day 15 has two significant events. It's the Women's Curling Gold Medal game featuring Canada and Sweden, and the Men's Hockey Semi-Finals with the US playing Finland in the first Semi, and Canada playing Slovakia in the second. I'm going with the Finns in the first game. I have not been impressed with the Americans at all, besides Goalie Ryan Miller, and unless they can shore up their defense, this will be the end of the road for them. In the other game, don't look for a blowout. This could be closer than people expect. The Slovaks have some great players and a great Goalie. They will clog up the middle and this game will not be as wide open as the Russia game. I think that Canada will pull through and I'll say 4-2. Either way both should be great games and I may even go through two bags of chips and a 2 litre of Coke Zero. I can't help it, I eat when I get nervous. Of course I also eat when I'm relaxed though. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm wearing maternity clothes.

Day 13

Typical. The moment Ryan and I leave Vancouver and head home to the sticks all Hell breaks loose. While there was yelling and cheering and spontaneously pitchy versions of Oh Canada during our seemingly endless walk through the streets, I'm sure it paled in comparison to what was happening on Day 13.

While I've always said as long as the athletes do their best they should be proud of themselves and we should be proud of them, today our Canadian athletes truly 'owned the podium' and that calls for a celebration. In fact, I'm going out to get a cake right now. What's a celebrations without a cake? Oh and booze too.

We got home just in time to watch the start of the Canada-Russia Men's Hockey Quarterfinals. It was a very emotional reunion for me and my easy chair. I also missed my Cheetos and Nacho Chips and of course the remote. Earlier in the day the Americans beat the Swiss 2-0 in a surprisingly close game. While I didn't get to see it I hear that it was very dramatic with a couple disallowed goals by the US. The Canada - Russia game was everything I'd hoped it would be and it must have been amazing to have been in the crowd to watch it live. I was surprised that the Canadians were faster than the Russians. I think the Russians were surprised too. I was even more nervous because Luongo was playing and it's not very often that Leafs fans, Canadiens fans, Senators fans, Oilers fans and Flames fans are all cheering for him. But I felt pretty confident that we would win because I had my lucky Canada Jersey on overtop of my Canada shirt along with my lucky Canada toque and scarf. How could they lose? The final score was Canada 7 Russia 3. I wasn't very impressed with Russia during the last few minutes of the game. There were a couple of cheap shots, particularly one where Eric Staal got injured but he later returned. They also took a couple of head hunting shots at Luongo in the dying minutes. Pretty classless. Oh well, I hope they enjoy playing the 7th place game. Have fun with that. (Jeez, now I'm starting to sound like a cocky American.)

I drifted in and out of consciousness for the Finland - Czech Republic game that followed. It was a close game, which I predicted in yesterday's blog (I so hate to gloat) but Finland prevailed after one of the Czech players lost their helmet and had to retrieve it behind the Czech net leaving their check (this is getting confusing) open for the tip in for the winning goal. The rule in international hockey is that if you lose your helmet, you have to either get it and put it back on or skate immediately to the bench. Dumb rule. And it cost the Czechs the game. At least I was awake to see the winnning goal. There's nothing worse than waking up to "HE SCORES!!" It happens pretty often to me. The US now plays Finland in one Semi-Final.

In the late game, it was the highly favored Swedes taking on Slovakia. From a Canuck fans perspective it was the Sedin Twins taking on Pavol Demitra. Team Canada was set to play the winner. Halat, the Slovak goalie, was brilliant in this one as Sweden had a pretty wide edge in the play. But as I predicted in yesterday's blog (did I mention that I hate to gloat?) Slovakia pulled the big upset, winning 4-3. Demitra played great scoring the Slovak's third goal and got a nice assist on the winning goal. I only hope he can play like that when the Canucks' season resumes. Maybe he won't be traded for two sticks, a water bottle and a bag of pucks after all. While it may appear that Canada now has an easier path to the Gold Medal Game, I don't think they will overlook the Slovaks. There are a lot of great NHL players on this team and they have a very hot goalie right now. But I think if Luongo plays solid, they should advance to the big game. We will find out on Friday. But all in all, it was an amazing day for Hockey fans.

It was a big day in the Women's Bobsleigh. While I've been quite vocal about not being a fan of this sport, if I was watching Pictionary on tv and Canada had a chance for a Medal, I would be on my feet. Well, at least on the edge of my chair. Canada had a legitimate shot at 2 medals in this event today, and they ended up winning Gold and Silver. I was jumping around the house celebrating, but then I lost my breath and had to sit down. Kaillie Humphries and Heather Moyse took the Gold Medal and Helen Upperton and Shelley-Ann Brown took the Silver. Although it was a great moment and I'm very proud of them, I still can't watch it without thinking that it looks like a Waterslide Park in Nunavut.

In the Ladies Short Track Speed Skating 3000 metre Relay, the Canadian team won a Silver. I didn't get to see the race but I'm guessing it involved a lot of chaos on the ice and our Canadian team went around the ice surface the second fastest. Just a hunch. I actually find the Short Track quite exciting, but the relays give me a headache. There seems to be so much confusion. Speaking of giving me headaches, I'm still not a Brian Williams fan. How is this little weasel still on tv. I saw him sing at Karaoke in Vancouver once a while back and he can't do that either. Maybe he should try selling Shamwows at the PNE.

The other Medal Canada won was in the Long Track Speed Skating where Clara Hughes won the Bronze Medal in the Ladies 5000 metres. So that makes it four medals today won by a total of seven women. It's time for our Canadian guys to step up or we will NEVER hear the end of it.

Day 14 looks to be another big day. I think they just get bigger and bigger from here on. The big events are the Cross Country Skiing and Nordic Combined. Okay, I'm kidding. (I really don't get that cross country skiing though. I mean, maybe if you lived in Saskatchewan, but we have mountains here. People, for the love of God, use gravity to your advantage.) No, the big events are the Curling Men's and Women's Semi-Finals (you mean it's actually going to end at some point?), the Woman's Ice Hockey Bronze Medal Game (yawn) and the Gold Medal Game (US-Canada, now we're talkin'), and Canada's Joannie Rochette looks to make the podium in honor of her late Mother in the Ladies Figure Skating Long Program. She sits in third right now. It should be a great day.

It's hard to believe that in a couple of days time all this will be but a memory. I'm glad that there will be a lot left behind to keep that memory alive. Like the amazing building that is the Richmond Oval, and the Bobsled Run and Ski Jumping facilities in Whistler, and the cauldron in Coal Harbour. I've heard that they are considering keeping the flame lit after the Games, and that there are people that will protest if they do. Should be interesting. I think that if it's not too bad for the environment, then they should keep it lit. It would be a tourist attraction for years to come, and tourists generally bring lots of money to spend. Well, except most of my relatives. They usually show up on my doorstep wanting dinner, shelter and money for booze. But enough about my Mother. (She'd kill me if she had a computer.) Anyways, watching that Flame go out during the Closing Ceremonies is going to be a very sad yet special moment for me. I'm sincerely proud of how this city, this Province and this Country have come together over the past few weeks. We may have our differences, but we are all Canadian and we are all proud to be Canadians. Hey, that could be a commercial.

Day 12

After waking up feeling like I'd consumed several bottles of Tequila, some cooking wine and a little Aqua Velva, we headed back to the West Coast Express, (I once again parked about 2 blocks away, can you believe there's no parking at the Port Haney Station?) and got on the 2:17 train. This time there was hardly anyone there, I'm guessing because it was raining. It was also quite a bit colder than Day 11. We took Ryan's sister Brianna who hadn't been downtown during the Olympics yet.

It's interesting that along the way we passed the McBarge which was actually a floating McDonalds used during Expo. It is now an old floating pile of McRust. I don't know why they didn't fix it up and use it for the Olympics since McDonalds is a sponsor. They could've put it in the water by the cauldron or in False Creek near the BC Pavilion. Maybe the best spot would be the Olympic Village since as the commercials show, eating at McDonalds can make you an Olympic champion. We also passed two cruise ships. One from Holland-America and the other from Carnival. I'd heard that the entire Security force was staying on a cruise ship, but I'm not sure what the other one was for. Maybe Brian Williams' ego.

Walking outside the Waterfront Station, it was nice to see that the crowd was much smaller than the day before. We met our good friend Camille (who I would call my best friend since she has bookmarked this blog and can access it on her phone. For those of you who don't keep up on your technology, a bookmark is a small paper thingy that you put in between pages in a book so you know where you left off) and continued to the cauldron. (Incidentally, in the photo, Camille and I pose with Rita McNeil. Great to see her out and about in the Olympic City.) We waited only a few minutes to go up to the roof and took more photos. Too bad it wasn't sunny. It just wasn't as nice in the rain. And we couldn't even see Grouse Mountain. Or any mountains. We may as well have been in Regina. Except there were no cows. Or wheat fields. Or really slow drivers in the fast lane.

Since we were late getting into Vancouver it was already almost time for the big men's hockey game. It was Canada playing Germany and Luongo was going to be back in net. At this point our goal was to find a place to watch the game. We headed down Robson Street and every place was packed. Camille told us that the Vogue Theatre on Granville Street was showing the game so we headed there. We got seats on the balcony for $17.50 and were able to warm up and dry up somewhat. Plus, I was able to rest my aching feet. It turned out to be a pretty entertaining game. I was pretty sure Canada would win but I wanted Luongo to play well enough to earn a start in the next game. Canada ended up winning 8-2 and Luongo will apparently start the Quarterfinal game. I also felt like a winner because they had Ketchup Chips and Coke and I was sitting in a comfy seat. It was almost like being at home. Almost. Plus, Camille brought me some Mini Oreo Cookies. (Reaffirming her best friend status.)

After the game we went into Pacific Centre Mall and ate Chinese Food at the Food Court. Nothing says gourmet meal like Food Court Chinese Food. Afterwards, Camille decided to head home, since she had a pretty bad headache. Actually I think it was because I kept bitching about my sore feet. After she left we headed to The Bay because Ryan wanted to buy some Olympic stuff. As if we didn't already have enough. We lined up down the side of the building marking the first time in my life I've lined up outside a building to go shopping. The place was totally swamped but they had everything you could imagine, from Olympic house coats to Olympic dish towels. I didn't see Olympic toilet paper though now there was a missed opportunity. I bought a book that documents the Torch Run across Canada. It's a great book with some spectacular pictures and in the back it not only mentions every single place the torch was run but also every single torch bearer. Very cool. I bought it for $30 but I found out later that it was only $25 at HMV. Anyways, it is well worth it, even though I'm still bitter because they wouldn't let me drive in my car with it. I also bought a couple of pins but the Luongo pin was sold out. That one may be worth money some day. Especially if he wins us a Gold Medal. While we were in line to buy our merchandise, we got to watch Canadian Figure Skater Joannie Rochette skate her short program. Her mother passed away suddenly in Vancouver only a couple days ago. She was determined to skate for her mother and she skated brilliantly. When the music stopped and the program was over she broke down. She skated off the ice and cried on her coaches shoulder and the hundreds of shoppers in The Bay broke out in applause. It was one of those magical moments and she ended up in third place after the short program with the long program coming up on Thursday. After 2 hours in The Bay (Ryan couldn't decide which jacket to buy) we headed back to Robson Street.

Robson Square looked great all lit up. There were tons of lights in the trees and some of them were blossoming. Next to the sheet of ice a band was playing. Silverlode, with Geoff Gibbons. They sang a song that I just love and did a great job. And no, I don't remember the name of the song but it's a Canadian classic. There were a lot of people watching and there were big screens throughout the square showing the concert. The footage was even projected onto the side of the Sears building. Very cool.

We walked for another 10 or 20 miles. (Have I mentioned my aching feet?) We saw the Olympic Clock and took more pictures. We saw some lit up Polar Bears near Pacific Centre that looked very similar to the giant Polar Bear that was in the Opening Ceremonies. We also went to the Canada Pavilion at Georgia and Beatty Street. I thought it was pretty cool. We got some pictures of us on a bobsled (if I'd known they had a bobsled I would've worn my tights) and Ryan and Brianna got their picture taken with a torch. The Stanley Cup was supposed to be there but apparently only from noon to 3 pm. I don't know what that's all about and nobody could give me an answer, but at least I know I'll be seeing it in June when Luongo parades it through the streets of Vancouver. Hey, a little optimism never hurt. While the Pavilion was pretty cool, I don't think it was 10 million dollars cool. And it's kind of disappointing that they got a US Company to construct it. I don't really understand that. They should have known the media would be all over that story. Way to go Harper.

Once again, besides watching the Canadian hockey game and seeing one figure skater perform, we were completely out of touch with what was going on. But this is an Olympic blog and so maybe it's time to talk some sports.

Before we even headed downtown, they had the Women's Ski Cross. Since I slept in I didn't get to see it but my cousin Julia Murray competed. She injured herself a few weeks ago and wasn't sure if she'd be able to ski but she did and finished a fairly respectable 12th. The big story however was that Canadian Ashleigh McIvor (no not the fiddler, that's McIsaac) won the Gold. It's pretty cool that both days we spent in Vancouver we got to see the Gold Rings on the water. I guess we were good luck. Canada now has 6 Gold, 4 Silver and a Bronze and has 18 (count 'em 18) 4th and 5th place finishes. We could have 29 medals by now. (I'm sure I could've won a medal if cake eating was an Olympic event.)

In Women's Curling, Canada beat Great Britain 6-5 (prompting the Queen to mutter 'Pity'), and then beat Russia 7-3 (prompting President Poutin to yell 'Nyet') and in Men's Curling, Canada beat China 10-3 (prompting Britney Spears to ask 'China? Like dinner plates?') Both Canadian teams look strong and both are favored for Gold.

In other Men's hockey the Czechs and Slovaks won their games over Norway and Belarus. The Quarterfinals which are on Day 13 will feature the mighty Canadians against the mighty Russians, the Finns against the Czechs, Sweden vs Slovakia and the US, with the easiest matchup play the Swiss. The Canada-Russia game is pretty much a toss up with probably a slight edge to Canada. It will likely come down to goaltending however. Luongo has a great record against Ovechkin though so that plays in his favor. Don't expect the Swedes and Finns to pull through easily. The Czechs and Slovaks are good teams and they will probably be close games. I will pick the Slovaks to upset the Swedes. In the US-Swiss game, the US should take that pretty handily. That's the crappy thing about Canada losing to the US, not only did we have to play on Day 12 while the US got a bye, we also face a much tougher Russian team in the Quarters. The good news is that Canada has to gel as a team now and if we beat the Russians there is a very good chance we will take the Gold.

Day 13 will see Women's Bobsleigh, Curling tiebreakers (I don't know what that means either), Women's Aerials skiing up at Cypress, both Short and Long Track Speed Skating, and of course the Men's Hockey Quarter Finals. Sounds like a nachos and seven layer dip with a nice Chardonnay and my new Olympic blanket kind of night. And I am only hours away from a tear-stained reunion with my easy chair. Should be another one of those magical moments.

Day 11

Day 11 was a big day because I got my ample ass out of my comfy easy chair and headed down to experience the biggest party in the World at the moment, in Vancouver. As usual I slept very poorly the night before and we headed out early. It was another beautiful day. We drove to Maple Ridge and took the West Coast Express from there. A return ticket cost $15.50 and took us right into the Waterfront Station which is near the sails of Canada Place. It was a very relaxing ride even though it was packed with people. Ryan and I got seats at least and even though there were a couple of old ladies standing and one old man with crutches who could barely stand up, I was not giving up my seat for anyone. Hey, I never claimed to have a Heart.

I was a bit shell-shocked arriving at the beautiful Waterfront Station. It's where the Westcoast Express, Sea Bus and both Skytrain Lines converge so it is crazy on normal days. I was impressed with how many volunteers there were and how helpful and cheerful they were. Some of them sat on towers and looked like lifeguards. The atmosphere was electric as we walked past the amazing new Conference Centre towards the Cauldron. At that point we walked past a camera crew interviewing some people and it was Meredith Viera and Al Roker from The Today Show. We stopped and watched and they were joking on camera about their lack of Curling knowledge. So that was my first and only brush with fame on this day. She seemed like a really cool person though and I will forgive her for wearing a US Olympic vest. Then we continued on to the Cauldron. It is an amazing sight to see in person and while I can understand people's frustrations about the fence, I think that story was completely overblown. We lined up for about 20 minutes to go on the roof of a building nearby and got some great pictures. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and I thought to myself that this is perhaps the best spot in the World to have to lineup for 20 minutes. We were looking at Stanley Park, at the Olympic Rings in the water, at several float planes landing and taking off, at Grouse Mountain across Burrard Inlet. I don't know if any place is more beautiful than that. Not even Whalley.

After taking a few dozen pictures of the Cauldron we headed towards Robson Street. At this point we were very hungry so we grabbed a bite to eat at Wendys. I was surprised that there were no food carts along the way; they could've made a fortune. I wonder if the Olympics wouldn't let them sell their food? Who knows. Anyways, we continued along Robson and it was quite busy but not as busy as it was on the Weekend. The road was closed and they had unicycle riders and jugglers. It was a great environment. We walked up to Robson Square which was my favorite area. They have done an amazing job. The ice underneath Robson Street looks amazing. It was mobbed with people however and the free Zip Line which goes overtop of Robson Square 6 stories up, had a lineup of over 6 hours and they closed it off. Incidentally I took many pictures but I am using a different computer and I don't know how to upload pictures, so I will add a picture to this blog and the Day 12 blog when I get home and am resting comfortably in my easy chair once again.

If you notice I have yet to mention any sporting events in this blog. It's really cool to actually be at the Olympics but it is amazing how out of touch you are to what is going on events-wise. Unless you sit and watch on the big screen in Robson Square, which we didn't do, or sit in a Bar and watch, which we also didn't do, you are going to be out of the loop. And we were. I keep way more up to date sitting on my ass at home and eating cheezies then I do walking my ass off around Vancouver.

I thought it would be cool to actually go to an event, but since we didn't have any tickets, I thought it was unlikely. I knew Canada was playing Finland in the Women's Hockey Semi-Finals so we went to GM Place, er Canada Hockey Place to check out the scalpers. Well, I mean check out ticket prices from the scalpers. I stopped and asked a big black guy how much tickets were and he had two great seats three rows up behind team Canada's bench. He wanted $250 a ticket and they were $200 tickets regularly. Not bad, but still too much for us. Since I wasn't desperate to go to the game I was able to barter with him and we talked to him for awhile. He was from Toronto and it turned out he was a Leafs fan although he claimed it was only because he made a fortune scalping at Leafs games. I told him I didn't know who would pay good money to watch a Beer League Team. Anyways, he ended up giving us the tickets for cost and we headed to GM, I mean Canada Hockey Place. But not so fast. It was right around the corner but they wouldn't let us go that way. We had to walk around the Skytrain Station and a block past the arena. The game was in less than a half hour so I was getting a little worried. I could see the arena we just couldn't get to it. We finally circled around and had to ask a volunteer where to go. They guided us into an area where there were about a dozen lineups and that's where they searched us. Ryan walked right through the metal detector without it going off but I wasn't so lucky. Then the hand wand went off 4 times and I kept getting rid of things that set it off. Since I didn't have my truck there, I was stuck with whatever I bought. It's the first time I've brought a cd into a hockey game. I also brought an unopened bottle of water and surprisingly they let me take it in. Anyway it felt like I was at the Airport only we didn't end up somewhere warm and tropical. Maybe that's a good thing since I didn't have my Speedo with me. Finally we were able to head into the building with about 5 minutes to spare.

As promised our seats were great and the building looked amazing. I have to give Vanoc credit overall. I think they've done a masterful job and don't listen to all the negative stuff. The tourists that are in Vancouver are absolutely loving these Games and loving Vancouver and that's what's important. The game got off to a slow start and it really wasn't as good as I expected but Canada dominated and beat Finland 5-0. I think the real problem with Women's Hockey is that there are two teams, the Americans and the Canadians that are dominant and none of the other teams are very good. I mean every single Canadian skater was a much better skater than any of the Finns. The other teams need to get better or I don't think this is going to be in the Olympics for very long. I was sitting beside a couple from Toronto (and yes, they were also Leafs fans) and they had been to a lot of events and even had tickets to the Men's Gold Medal Hockey Game. I told them that I would talk to them right now because we are on the same team (Canada), but once these 17 days are over we are enemies again. I was glad that I went and the atmosphere was great as you would expect. Plus I was on tv. You may have seen me, I was the one wearing a Canadian Authentic home jersey. Okay, so there were thousands of jerseys like mine, but how many were worn by people who kept dozing off? We were both really tired but falling asleep at a sold out Olympic Hockey Game? That's pretty bad. And now I'm even considering renaming this blog 'The Narcoleptic Olympic Blog'. Sounds pretty catchy to me.

While walking around afterwards we found out that Canadians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir won Gold in the Ice Dance. Apparently they skated brilliantly. Unfortunately I never did get to see their performance. That's one of the drawbacks of going to events. I also know that in Men's Curling Canada won 7-2 over the US (take that Meredith Viera) and in Women's Curling Canada beat Sweden 6-2 (take that Ikea). I only know that because I saw the scores. Sorry I can't be more informative but I know next to nothing about curling so even if I did watch I wouldn't be able to talk much about it. I just know the team that yells "Hurry HARD" (or is it "HURRY hard"?) the loudest usually wins.

We walked to the Canadian Mint where you can actually pick up a medal, but the lineup was too long so we kept walking. My feet were tired, my back was sore, my hips were screaming and I had a bad migraine. I'm old and I haven't walked that far since I was in High School. At least this time I had shoes and there wasn't three feet of snow. We walked back to the Waterfront Station and hopped back on the train back to Maple Ridge. And yes, I fell asleep a couple more times on the way. At least I didn't snore.

All in all it was a great day. I was so glad I was able to get down to Vancouver and see everything that was going on and all the people. While I do miss my easy chair, and I bet it misses me, my easy chair will be around forever and unfortunately these Games will not. For those of you who live in the Lower Mainland or even those of you within a few hours drive of Vancouver, if you haven't experienced Vancouver or Whistler yet during the Games it is definitely worth the effort. The city has come to life and I don't think it can ever be called a no-fun city again.

Day 10

Day 10 was perhaps the most anticipated day of Vancouver 2010 so far. Team Canada were playing the US in Men's Hockey. This is what us Canadians (we Canadians?) were really waiting for. Those damned Americans can have all those Golds in skiing and snowboarding. No problem. Enjoy. Men's and Women's Hockey Golds is what we're after. I have to admit it was a tense night for me. I didn't sleep very well at all and when I did I had this awful nightmare that included the US miracle on ice Olympic Team, Dan Cloutier and Oggie Ogglethorpe. I'm not sure what it all meant but it was not pleasant. I woke up with a dry throat, a sore neck and tinfoil on my knuckles. To illustrate how tired I was on Day 10, the photo I have posted was of me 'watching' the Men's 2-Man Bobsleigh. It was beyond exciting.

I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the day. I watched most of the Russia-Czech Men's Hockey Game which Russia won. It's nice to see the Hockey getting better as the tournament rolls along, but of course that is to be expected. In Men's Ski Cross American Chris Del Bosco, representing Canada for some reason, fell short of a Medal when he fell umm short in the final race. He finished fourth. Why is he skiing for Canada? I'm really not sure and I'm too tired to Google it so you're on your own. Watching Curling on tv when you are dozing off is very frustrating. I just hate being awakened by somebody yelling "HURRY HARD!!" My first thought is either there is a fire or someone is watching Porn. Anyways, I reported in my blog yesterday that last nights win for the men was their last game of the round robin. Well I was wrong. Wow. That was really difficult to say. They won today and remain undefeated and the round robin continues. The Canadian Women beat the US 9-2 today (Yay!! In your face America!) but then lost the night game 6-5 to China.

During the Original Dance Figure Skating I finished up my Cheetos and then went back to sleep. Although I did hear something about the Canadian couple skating really well though. I still think that if this is a Winter Olympic Event, then Ballroom Dancing should be in the Summer Olympics. Boring.

Canada FINALLY won another Medal, this time in Women's 1500 Metre Long Track Speed Skating. Kristina Groves took the Silver, a quarter of a second behind Irene Wust of the Netherlands. That brings our Medal total to 9, tying us with the South Koreans. Canadians finally had reason to celebrate.

I was wide awake by the time 4:30 rolled around. It was time for the big Canada-US battle. As most of you know the US won the game 5-3. It was a very entertaining game. Very fast paced. My blood pressure was shooting through the roof. I'm way too old to be watching anything more exciting than Murder, She Wrote. Anyways, Canada pretty much dominated the game in every position except the most important one of all, in goal. American Ryan Miller stood on his head. And when he wasn't standing on his head, he was doing backflips and sommersaults. In fact I swear late in that third period he did a triple lutz. For Canada's Martin Brodeur it was quite a different story. He overplayed the puck early and seemed a bit too eager to be a factor. To be a great competitor you have to respect your opponent. When he takes a full swing and bats the puck out of the air and it ends up in his own net, I think he is putting himself before the team and that's not how Champions are made. The good news is that Canada actually played a really good game and were dominant most of the night. Since Canada lost, they now have to play Germany on Tuesday while the US gets a bye to the quarterfinals. If Canada wins that they will play the Russians in what I think would likely to be the biggest and best game of the Olympics. Unfortunately there is not a very good chance that Canada will get an opportunity for some payback against the US because if the Americans don't pick up their game, they will not be around for the semifinals. Luongo will likely get the start against the Germans and then if he plays well, I think he should start against Russia, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Either way, the bottom line is, don't panic. We get an extra game to gel as a team and Luongo gets some work while Brodeur gets a rest. It's all good. (Why do I feel like Gordon Campbell trying to sell the HST to British Columbians?)

We will be Downtown Vancouver sometime tomorrow. I imagine we will be doing a lot of walking. I better bring an extra bag of chips for some energy. I wanted to bring my easy chair with me, sitting in it on Robson watching the Games on tv would be awesome, but it wouldn't fit in my truck. Oh well. I'm excited to see the Ice Rink at Robson Square and the Zip Line. I've heard the lineups can be in excess of 4 hours. I won't be waiting in those lineups. Why don't they have Fast Passes like those at the Disney Parks? That would really come in handy for the Cauldron, the Zip Line, the Canadian Mint where you can touch a Medal and the Safe Injection Site. I'm sure junkies from all over the World are swarming on that place right now and I hate to think they may have to wait for their fix.

In the final Men's Hockey Game tonight, Sweden beat the Finns 3-0. They are also looking pretty solid. I predicted Canada and Russia would win the Gold and the Silver but now that isn't possible. I also predicted the US would win the Bronze but now I'm not so sure. I'm sticking with Canada to win the Gold, very possibly with Luongo leading the way, I'll go with Sweden to win the Silver and the Czech Republic to win Bronze. Of course my picks may change daily. We'll see.

Day 11 will see the Women's Hockey semifinals. Should be pretty easy pickins for the Canadians and the US setting up a big final match on Thursday. There is also the Free Dance Figure Skating and more Curling. Does Curling ever end?

In the meantime, I will be stepping out of my easy chair, and going out on the road. It's my obligation to bring you the best, most informative blog that I can. If that means heading into the centre of the storm, the eye of the hurricane, then dammit that's what I will do. Well, actually I just have this craving for more donuts on Robson Street. They're delicious.

Day 9

The Americans continued their dominance on Day 9 and now have six Gold, seven Silver and ten Bronze. Germany is second with fourteen and Norway is in third with eleven. Due to a big day in Short Track Speed Skating, South Korea has passed us and now sit with nine Medals. Canada, who failed to win a Medal today, are still stuck at eight. Frustrations seem to be mounting among athletes and fans, but nothing will subdue the biggest party in the World right now which is happening on Robson Street.

Every day in the Province Newspaper they are giving samples of what other Newspaper Columnists from around the World are saying about Vancouver. Here is an excerpt from The New York Times, one of the largest and most respected Newspapers in the World:

"Why the lack of self-esteem Canada - snap out of it! You're gorgeous, baby, you're sophisticated, you live well. No need for an apology... There may be no more heart-stopping view in all the World than the glimpse to the West, toward the distant Strait of Georgia, from the span of the Lion's Gate Bridge, which links Vancouver to its northern suburbs. The pan-Asian cuisine of British Columbia, built around a bounty from the seas, forest and prairie, puts London and Hong Kong to shame...Vancouver is Manhatten with mountains. It's a liquid city, a tomorrow city, equal parts India, China, England, France and the Pacific Northwest. It's the cool North American sibling. If only, and this holds true for the rest of Canada, it didn't feel the need to blush."

You can't buy that kind of publicity. Although the fact that we 'feel the need to blush' makes us Canadian, and if we were arrogant about it then we would be a little too American for my liking.

While there were a lot of events going on today, nothing overly significant as far as I was concerned. I did watch some Curling. In the final game of the Men's round robin Canada played Great Britain. I actually watched the whole thing. Well almost. I started watching in the 7th inning, err end when Canada looked to be in a bit of trouble. It was actually quite entertaining and Canada prevailed in the end after Great Britain seemed to fall apart. Canada is the only team to go undefeated in the round robin and are a lock to make the podium. I guess when they called it 'Own The Podium', they were talking about Curling, or Ice Shuffleboards as I call it.

I enjoyed watching some Short Track Speed Skating. In the Ladies 1500 Metres, my idol in these games Meng Wang, and no not because of the name although it is fun to say, was disqualified after a South Korean woman took her and another skater out of the race. The judges reviewed it and gave the South Korean a spot in the final and not Wang. This was very unfair and I'm sure China is loading up the Nukes right now. I just hope the Okanagan is far enough away from Vancouver that we don't have to deal with years of radiation. Oh well, my hair is already falling out anyways. Hmm, did I get off-topic? How shocking. Back to Meng Wang. I watched her race the other day and I don't remember seeing anyone so dominant. Of course she won Gold, but there was never any question. I was just hoping a Canadian would win a Silver or Bronze. That South Korean woman just barged in and tripped her. (By the way I watched the footage back in slo-mo, and the Korean woman didn't even have the decency to say 'excuse me'!) In the Men's 100 metres, South Koreans picked up a Gold and Silver, giving them four Medals in these two events.

One trend I've been noticing throughout these Olympic Games are athletes competing for other Countries. Like the Moguls Skier from West Vancouver who won the Silver Medal skiing for Australia. There are Canadian hockey players playing for Germany and Switzerland among others. Where is the loyalty? Where is the patriotism? Actually, I'm just pissed that I didn't think about it sooner. I could've competed in the Men's Hockey for Ethiopia. I'm sure I could have secured a spot as a third line shutdown centre.

While we're on the topic of questioning people's patriotism, now is probably as good a time as any to bring up a recent incident involving protesters. Apparently somebody carved into the huge Canadian Flag on the Hotel Vancouver 'FU 2010'. Well, either they are having a very bad year, or they do not like the Olympics. First of all that flag apparently cost $150,000. That's a lot of money, especially to people who are so concerned about how much money our Government are spending on these Games. Second, and most importantly, as I've said before, I respect those people who are opposed to the Games as long as they are civil, don't ruin anyone's fun and don't make Vancouver or BC look bad. But I absolutely do not respect anyone that damages and disrespects our flag. I hope these people are caught and their pictures put in the paper for all of us patriotic Canadians to see.

In Men's Hockey, Switzeland beat Norway 5-4, Slovakia crushed Latvia 6-0 (sorry Darren), and Belarus beat a surprisingly inept German team 5-3. In Women's Hockey Switzerland ousted China 6-0, and Russia beat Slovakia 4-2. But the real Hockey starts tomorrow with Russia playing the Czechs, Canada against the US and the Swedes versus the Finns in a rematch of the Gold Medal Game from Turino. Should be a great triple-header. I'm going to buy extra bags of chips for the occasion. It will be very interesting to see how all six of these teams are gelling together. It's almost impossible to predict. While I definitely think that the Canadians are favorites on paper, the team that plays most like a team will have the best shot at winning. Well that and the team with the best Goalie.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that we were thinking of coming down to take in some of the atmosphere. Watching it all on CTV makes me want to be there and judging by the crazy amounts of people, I guess I'm not the only one. And here I thought everyone was going to Mexico to get out of the city for the Month. Due to security reasons, I'm not allowed to mention the date or time of our arrival, or which Limo we will be riding in, but we will make an appearance on Robson, and at the infamous imprisoned cauldron. As long as my Security team allows it, I will even be signing autographs for the common-folk. And in honor of the imprisoned cauldron, in todays picture I am in front of a chain link fence. I just thought it was somehow appropriate.

Looking at that mass of people on Robson, I had a brain-storm. (Or maybe it was a minor stroke, I'm never completely sure which.) I think you could make a lot of money selling 'Vancouver 2018' merchandise. While the Olympics and 2010 have been trademarked, I bet you could get away with 'Vancouver 2018'. It is such a party downtown that I think people would be all over the thought of getting the Games back in a few years. While I know that's not going to happen, well not for at least a few decades, I think the City of Vancouver needs to close down Robson St every February for at least a day to celebrate our Olympics. Personally I think it should be a week long celebration every year, similar to a Mardi Gras or Carnivale. Let's bring the people back every year, because with the people comes the money. (And you thought I was just a pretty face.)

Looking ahead to Day 10 (wow, it's all going by so quickly), there's your usual biathlon, bobsleigh and curling. Men's Giant Slalom up at Whistler, Original Dance Figure Skating at the Pacific Coliseum, Men's Ski Cross up at Cypress, and more Long Track Speed Skating at the Richmond Oval. However the focus will definitely be on the Men's Hockey particularly the big Canada-US game. While it is still only the round robin, our city desperately wants a reason to celebrate. In the meantime, I'll be here in my easy chair analyzing every celebration, every defeat, every moronic public display by stupid protesters (or is it every stupid public display by moronic protesters?), every tear of joy and every tear of sorrow. Well, that is if I don't fall asleep again.

Day 8

Day 8 in Vancouver began in the shadow of the Tiger Woods Press Conference. What a spectacle that was. (That was sarcasm by the way.) I really don't have much sympathy for him, although I do for his family, but I really hope they don't turn this into a movie of the week. But come to think of it, he and Balloon Boy would be a great pair in a sitcom. (Whatchutalkin' about Tiger??!!) Anyways, it was another beautiful day in BC. It looks like it's supposed to stay that way through Wednesday at least. Who needs Mexico when you can tan on the beach at English Bay in February. (I'd recommend you wear your Vancouver 2010 Red Mittens.)

Today was a quiet day. Well, not on Robson Street which appears to be the biggest party in the World right now, but as far as events go. The big story, Canada's Jon Montgomery won our 4th Gold Medal, this time in the Skeleton. We now sit in fourth place in the overall medal standings, 12 behind the Americans who sit in first. That leads me to my next topic, although still with the Skeleton. Canadian Skeletoner (Skeletal?) Mellisa Hollingsworth sat in second place going into the final race but made a few mistakes and ended up finishing 5th. She was very emotional after the final race and broke down on CTV. She said that she let down an entire Country. I was getting emotional just watching it. (Of course I cry watching Naked Gun movies.) I never really cared for Canada's Own The Podium slogan. While I am all for the Government throwing more money into Amateur Sports, I don't think there should be this mindset that if you don't make the podium you fail. I'm glad not every Country feels this way because we certainly wouldn't have a record number of Countries competing in these Games. Many competitors (actually probably a majority of them) know they have no realistic chance at a medal. They are there to represent their Countries and do their very best. These Games are about Sportsmanship, about doing something that you love to do, about hard work, about giving everything you have and doing your very best. If you do these things yet fall short of the podium, how can you be considered a failure? I'm proud of the way Hollingsworth battled back in that final race. She did not give up. Nor did she storm off in a huff or blame the course. I have never seen a classier group of athletes than this Canadian Olympic Team, and I am very proud to be Canadian right now. And Melissa, you did not let this Country down. Quite the contrary.

From talking about class and sportsmanship, we go to disgruntled sore loser Evgeni Plushenko. Bitter about taking Silver to American Evan Lysacek's Gold, the Russian expressed his shock that someone not doing a quad could win Gold. Even Russian President Vladimir Putin (I wonder if he's ever considered endorsing fries with cheese curds and gravy?) chimed in saying 'his Silver was worth a Gold Medal'. Anybody watching the two skate knew it was an extremely close race; it could've gone either way. I thought Lysacek deserved to win and was glad he did. Figure Skating is about so much more than the quad. Good on the American for lashing back at Plushenko, who has a nose the size of his ego.

In Figure Skating today it was the Dance Compulsories. It really doesn't get much more boring than that. I'd rather watch the Zamboni go around and around. I didn't watch it, I don't know the results, let's move on.

In Men's and Women's Curling the Canadian teams remain undefeated and look to be favorites to win Gold Medals. What sets these teams apart is the way they can cinch the hammer on the 4-foot and their amazing use of the corner guard to draw to the button. Okay, so I don't know what any of that means, but I thought it sounded good.

No upsets to speak of in Men's Hockey. Sweden got by Belarus in a pretty close game, the Czechs beat Latvia, and the Finns toppled Germany. Team Canada, after their lacklustre win yesterday, got the day off today. I'm kind of surprised that they wouldn't have even a short practice. This team doesn't have long to come together and if they don't, they won't even win a medal. I think they need to be out on the ice. But what do I know? I'm only an expert. I read in the Globe and Mail that it might be a good thing if Canada loses to the Americans on Sunday night. It would mean they would have to play an extra game in making it to the Gold Medal Game and thus giving them one more game to come together. I don't really agree with this logic. You always want to play the best you can. They will either come together as a team when they absolutely need to, or it won't happen at all. You want to take the easiest path possible to the Gold Medal Game. While that paper may know Globes and they may know Mail, they sure don't know Hockey.

There is some controversy regarding the Olympic Security Force. A few Officers have been fired. One apparently for shoplifting at a Winners in Burnaby while off duty. (While I have never shoplifted, if I was a shoplifter, I'd want to be caught stealing from a Holt Renfrew, not a Winners. I'm just sayin'). They will not discuss why the other two were let go, but there is some speculation that it involved hookers. I know, it's shocking to think that Police Officers could possibly do such a thing. They are all good citizens who follow the letter of the law to a 't'. Why, it's unthinkable. Another Officer reportedly has Leprosy and has been relieved of duty. He considered suing Vanoc but changed his mind when he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. (Come on, you knew it was coming).

Once again today I went to stores to try to buy some more Olympic Merchandise. I'm so glad that the Welfare and EI I collect is being put to good use. (For the record, that was a joke.) Unless you are XXXL or XXS, there is not really much left. For those of you who are waiting until after the Games for things to go on sale for half price (Come on, I know you're out there) it's not going to happen. I'm really glad everything has sold so well. (Well, everything except that Quatchi Blow-up Doll which was just a bad idea.) Even in the old-folks capital of BC, Penticton everyone has Olympic fever. It's great to see people wearing team Canada jerseys, Grandma's with Canada flags on their scooters, Grandpa's with the Maple Leaf on their Depends, even old granny's with Maple Syrup-scented Bingo Dabbers. It just doesn't get any more Canadian than that.

While there is more going on on Day 9, Saturday, nothing really too significant. The Bobsleigh begins, more Men's and Women's Curling (and drawing to the 8-foot), Women's Aerials Freestyle Skiing up at Cypress, some insignificant Men's Hockey Games (well, significant if you are from Latvia), and Women's Hockey Playoffs which do not include Canada or the US because they get a bye to the next round. All this translates to more sleep for me. Somewhere between the two man Bobsleigh and the Norweigian-Swiss Men's Hockey Game I may find a few minutes to rush to Safeway and stock up on Chips and Pop. I'll try. I don't know why my life has to be so chaotic and stressful.