A Final Word

Forgive me reader for I have sinned. It's been almost three weeks since my last confession. Alright, I admit it. I have gotten lazy once again. I fully intended to write this blog a day or two after the closing ceremonies and it just didn't happen. Dont blame me. Blame Cheetos. And Laz-Boy.

Twenty days later and I think I'm still feeling withdrawal. I thought that the Olympics would inspire me to get some exercise. I envisioned myself running marathons and competing in Iron Man competitions. Of course before you can do that you have to get up off your ass and move. I decided I didn't like that idea. Although I'm proud to say that today I made myself a protein shake. It contained skim milk, frozen strawberries, blueberries, bananas, cherries, strawberry yogurt and vanilla protein powder. It tasted great and complimented my bacon and eggs and hashbrowns quite nicely. So as you can see, I'm still a work in progress. Now if they had a Seniors Olympic Games, then that is something I could get motivated for. I think it's a pretty good idea. They could have Scooter Races, Cane Gymnastics and I bet the Bingo would be pretty intense.

I've had a little bit of time now to reflect on things. I've also recently heard of a few things that happened behind the scenes and now realize that I was probably too hard on the Closing Ceremonies. I listened to Bruce Allen on Larry & Willy's Show on Jack FM (Bruce is the outspoken manager of Michael Buble, Bryan Adams, Martina McBride, Jann Arden and Anne Murray). He is always very informative and never afraid to speak his mind. In my last blog I wondered why they didn't ask Shania Twain and Rush and Tragically Hip etc. It never occurred to me that some artists would actually turn them down. Was I ever wrong.

Okay so here's the dirt. Before the brilliant producer of the opening and closing ceremonies David Atkins even agreed to the job, he supplied Vanoc with a list of four Global entertainers that he felt were essential to get to sing at either ceremony. They were Bryan Adams, Michael Buble, Celine Dion and Shania Twain. They asked Celine very early on and right off the bat she said no. Her husband Rene told Vanoc that they were trying to have another baby and she was given the year off. Then she announced that she was pregnant and later announced that she was not pregnant. At that point, once again they approached her. Rene once again said she was taking the year off. Then on January 21 she performed on the We Are The World song and on January 31 she appeared on The Grammys. Shortly after that she appeared on Oprah. Bruce Allen called her actions an insult to Vanoc and a slap in the face to Canadians. Yep, he tends to tell it like it is.

As for Shania Twain, apparently the rumors of her being in Whistler mere days before the Opening Ceremonies were untrue. She originally said yes to performing, but very late in the game backed out. At the same time she fired her manager. Vanoc tried to get a hold of her to confirm that she wasn't going to do it and they couldn't find her. They hired a PR Firm to find her just so they would know for sure. A reason was never given.

The biggest disappointment for me was from one of my favorite bands. Blue Rodeo said no because they were worried about over-exposure. Bruce Allen- "Over-exposure? They just do their crappy little show in the park every Summer that nobody goes to and they are worried about over-exposure? They aren't doing a whole concert. It's just one crappy song!" I don't understand it. It could have been a great moment.

One of Canada's best bands, Rush, originally said yes, but backed out because they didn't feel they were prepared. Now that's a reason that I can respect. If rehearsals weren't going well then I can understand backing out. (They could have always asked me to take over on drums if that was the problem.)

The Tragically Hip (who Bruce Allen refers to as 'Ten Provinces Tragically Hip'. When asked what that means, he said that nobody knows them outside of ten Provinces) wanted too many demands and they were given the boot.

One of Canada's legends Leonard Cohen wouldn't return phone calls. Bruce Allen-"It's always a big circus with him. You don't speak to Leonard Cohen. You can't speak to Leonard Cohen. You have to talk to his people." They eventually gave up on him and then when it was too late, he did return their calls and said 'kd's already singing my song, why do I have to be there?' More from Bruce Allen-"He recently said in the papers how proud he is to be Canadian and if it weren't for Canada he wouldn't be where he was today, and then he does this crap. It just makes me sick to my stomach." Or words to that effect, but you get the idea.

I think it is shameful for an artist to not want to perform for their Country. It should be a great honor. As Bruce Allen pointed out, if these Olympics were in the US, all the big American stars would be clawing each other's eyes out to get a chance to perform. The rest of Canada, all of us average Joes, can be proud of our patriotism. Those artists I just named should go to the penalty box for two minutes and feel shame. (I've heard rumors that Leonard Cohen has mob ties, I wonder if I should go into hiding? Nah, I think I'm pretty safe here. In Halifax.)

One of the many things I neglected to mention in my last blog was what a brilliant job I thought that John Furlong did in putting on these Games. Nobody on this project has worked harder than him or been under more pressure than him over the past six years. He insisted on having his cell phone with him at all times just in case there was a problem even though text messages would almost always wake him every night. Over the course of those six years, he's had six lesions removed from his face, his second marriage ended and his relationships with his own kids and nine grandkids have been tested. Was it a perfect Olympic Games? No. But when you look at all the potential problems, not a lot went wrong. The only big issue was the passing of the Georgian luger. That's impossible to ignore. But that clearly wasn't Vanoc's fault. I think Mr Furlong will be immortalized in this city and a statue of him should be put up in Robson Square.

Just yesterday I saw a picture in The Province of Stephen Harper accepting Beer from an Obama aide after winning a bet that they had on the Men's Gold Medal Hockey game. While I have no problem with the photo, I really hope that all of those people that were offended by the Canadian Women's Hockey Team for smoking cigars and drinking beer and champagne on the ice in celebration are even more pissed about this. Not only is our Prime Minister accepting Alcohol, but he's also telling all of those kids out there that gambling is good. Just throw a bong into the mix and you would have a trifecta.

I was really excited about watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Paralympic Games. I'd originally heard that it was going to be on Friday night, and then I heard that it was going to be on Saturday afternoon. I couldn't quite figure it out. Then on Friday evening I read on The Province website that they were airing it live at that moment. So we quickly put it on even though it wasn't mentioned on any of the guides. We'd missed about an hour and a half unfortunately. What I saw I was really impressed with and found it much more emotional than any moment in either Olympic ceremonies. Since it was supposed to air again at 2 pm on Saturday, I figured we would watch the first hour and a half then. At that time we turned it on and it had already started. They decided to air them at 1:30. I still have not seen the first 30 minutes. CTV has done a really poor job promoting the Paralympic Games. Very disappointing. I think if it was shown live and they gave it some decent coverage, the ratings would be pretty solid, after all, as I said in previous blogs, these athletes are our true heroes. If I were to lose a limb, I think I would just sit at home and feel sorry for myself which, come to think of it is what I do now anyways.

Since I began this blog I have been bombarded by questions and comments. I'm sure you realize that I'm much too busy to respond to all of my fans. I thought now would be a good time to respond to a few of you. Consider this my gift to you, the reader. (What were you expecting? A Quatchi doll?)

Anne Sutherby of Red Deer Alberta asks: 'Clearly you are one of the most brilliant minds of our generation. What made you choose to write blogs as opposed to curing Cancer, solving the Climate Crisis or running for Prime Minister?'

Corey answers: 'I'm glad you picked up on my intelligence. How very astute of you. But please remember that this blog only takes 7 or 8 hours a day. I've had plenty of time to do my Cancer research on Lab rats and Guinea Pigs, talk the Chinese into using Electric Cars and become the leader of the Liberal Party. I've even become the new poster boy for Cheetos Baked Cheezies. Thanks for the question.'

Rebecca Sinclair of Houston Texas asks: 'With your supermodel looks, why aren't you in front of the camera instead of behind a keyboard?'

Corey answers: 'Thank you Rebecca for the question. That's something I get asked all the time. In restaurants, I'm often mistaken for Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Ed Asner. When you look like a supermodel and write like a literary genius it's a tough choice to make. But I made it, and I'm not looking back. Besides, I'll have you know that I was once a model for The Hair Club For Men.

Darren McLeod of Whalley BC writes: 'Your blog has truly given me a reason to live. Before your Easy Chair Olympic Blog I used to spend hours revving up my car in the garage, (Damn those electric cars anyways!!) and several times I overdosed on pills (but then I found out taking a whole bottle of Flintstones Vitamins just gives me gas) but now I feel that you have given me a new lease on life. So thank you for that. My question is, I would compare you to Mark Twain or John Steinbeck. Who were your literary influences growing up?

Corey responds: 'Thank you Mr. McLeod for the kind remarks. I'm sure if I lived in Whalley, I probably would have slit my wrists by now. Hmm, maybe you should have tried that. To answer your question, my influences were definitely Danielle Steel and Dr Seuss.

Camille Fournier of Montreal Quebec asks: 'As a Guinea Pig lover I have to ask, were you serious about doing testing on them for Cancer research?'

Corey answers: 'No Camille. I would never do such a thing. They are way too cute for that. They do however taste great in stew.'

Randy Smith of Peterborough Ontario asks: 'Will there be an Easy Chair Olympic Blog for the Summer Olympics in London in two years?'

Corey answers: 'Another question I get asked a lot. I don't really know. Two years is a long way off. At my age it all depends on whether or not they have the Internet at my nursing home.'