A Final Word

Forgive me reader for I have sinned. It's been almost three weeks since my last confession. Alright, I admit it. I have gotten lazy once again. I fully intended to write this blog a day or two after the closing ceremonies and it just didn't happen. Dont blame me. Blame Cheetos. And Laz-Boy.

Twenty days later and I think I'm still feeling withdrawal. I thought that the Olympics would inspire me to get some exercise. I envisioned myself running marathons and competing in Iron Man competitions. Of course before you can do that you have to get up off your ass and move. I decided I didn't like that idea. Although I'm proud to say that today I made myself a protein shake. It contained skim milk, frozen strawberries, blueberries, bananas, cherries, strawberry yogurt and vanilla protein powder. It tasted great and complimented my bacon and eggs and hashbrowns quite nicely. So as you can see, I'm still a work in progress. Now if they had a Seniors Olympic Games, then that is something I could get motivated for. I think it's a pretty good idea. They could have Scooter Races, Cane Gymnastics and I bet the Bingo would be pretty intense.

I've had a little bit of time now to reflect on things. I've also recently heard of a few things that happened behind the scenes and now realize that I was probably too hard on the Closing Ceremonies. I listened to Bruce Allen on Larry & Willy's Show on Jack FM (Bruce is the outspoken manager of Michael Buble, Bryan Adams, Martina McBride, Jann Arden and Anne Murray). He is always very informative and never afraid to speak his mind. In my last blog I wondered why they didn't ask Shania Twain and Rush and Tragically Hip etc. It never occurred to me that some artists would actually turn them down. Was I ever wrong.

Okay so here's the dirt. Before the brilliant producer of the opening and closing ceremonies David Atkins even agreed to the job, he supplied Vanoc with a list of four Global entertainers that he felt were essential to get to sing at either ceremony. They were Bryan Adams, Michael Buble, Celine Dion and Shania Twain. They asked Celine very early on and right off the bat she said no. Her husband Rene told Vanoc that they were trying to have another baby and she was given the year off. Then she announced that she was pregnant and later announced that she was not pregnant. At that point, once again they approached her. Rene once again said she was taking the year off. Then on January 21 she performed on the We Are The World song and on January 31 she appeared on The Grammys. Shortly after that she appeared on Oprah. Bruce Allen called her actions an insult to Vanoc and a slap in the face to Canadians. Yep, he tends to tell it like it is.

As for Shania Twain, apparently the rumors of her being in Whistler mere days before the Opening Ceremonies were untrue. She originally said yes to performing, but very late in the game backed out. At the same time she fired her manager. Vanoc tried to get a hold of her to confirm that she wasn't going to do it and they couldn't find her. They hired a PR Firm to find her just so they would know for sure. A reason was never given.

The biggest disappointment for me was from one of my favorite bands. Blue Rodeo said no because they were worried about over-exposure. Bruce Allen- "Over-exposure? They just do their crappy little show in the park every Summer that nobody goes to and they are worried about over-exposure? They aren't doing a whole concert. It's just one crappy song!" I don't understand it. It could have been a great moment.

One of Canada's best bands, Rush, originally said yes, but backed out because they didn't feel they were prepared. Now that's a reason that I can respect. If rehearsals weren't going well then I can understand backing out. (They could have always asked me to take over on drums if that was the problem.)

The Tragically Hip (who Bruce Allen refers to as 'Ten Provinces Tragically Hip'. When asked what that means, he said that nobody knows them outside of ten Provinces) wanted too many demands and they were given the boot.

One of Canada's legends Leonard Cohen wouldn't return phone calls. Bruce Allen-"It's always a big circus with him. You don't speak to Leonard Cohen. You can't speak to Leonard Cohen. You have to talk to his people." They eventually gave up on him and then when it was too late, he did return their calls and said 'kd's already singing my song, why do I have to be there?' More from Bruce Allen-"He recently said in the papers how proud he is to be Canadian and if it weren't for Canada he wouldn't be where he was today, and then he does this crap. It just makes me sick to my stomach." Or words to that effect, but you get the idea.

I think it is shameful for an artist to not want to perform for their Country. It should be a great honor. As Bruce Allen pointed out, if these Olympics were in the US, all the big American stars would be clawing each other's eyes out to get a chance to perform. The rest of Canada, all of us average Joes, can be proud of our patriotism. Those artists I just named should go to the penalty box for two minutes and feel shame. (I've heard rumors that Leonard Cohen has mob ties, I wonder if I should go into hiding? Nah, I think I'm pretty safe here. In Halifax.)

One of the many things I neglected to mention in my last blog was what a brilliant job I thought that John Furlong did in putting on these Games. Nobody on this project has worked harder than him or been under more pressure than him over the past six years. He insisted on having his cell phone with him at all times just in case there was a problem even though text messages would almost always wake him every night. Over the course of those six years, he's had six lesions removed from his face, his second marriage ended and his relationships with his own kids and nine grandkids have been tested. Was it a perfect Olympic Games? No. But when you look at all the potential problems, not a lot went wrong. The only big issue was the passing of the Georgian luger. That's impossible to ignore. But that clearly wasn't Vanoc's fault. I think Mr Furlong will be immortalized in this city and a statue of him should be put up in Robson Square.

Just yesterday I saw a picture in The Province of Stephen Harper accepting Beer from an Obama aide after winning a bet that they had on the Men's Gold Medal Hockey game. While I have no problem with the photo, I really hope that all of those people that were offended by the Canadian Women's Hockey Team for smoking cigars and drinking beer and champagne on the ice in celebration are even more pissed about this. Not only is our Prime Minister accepting Alcohol, but he's also telling all of those kids out there that gambling is good. Just throw a bong into the mix and you would have a trifecta.

I was really excited about watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Paralympic Games. I'd originally heard that it was going to be on Friday night, and then I heard that it was going to be on Saturday afternoon. I couldn't quite figure it out. Then on Friday evening I read on The Province website that they were airing it live at that moment. So we quickly put it on even though it wasn't mentioned on any of the guides. We'd missed about an hour and a half unfortunately. What I saw I was really impressed with and found it much more emotional than any moment in either Olympic ceremonies. Since it was supposed to air again at 2 pm on Saturday, I figured we would watch the first hour and a half then. At that time we turned it on and it had already started. They decided to air them at 1:30. I still have not seen the first 30 minutes. CTV has done a really poor job promoting the Paralympic Games. Very disappointing. I think if it was shown live and they gave it some decent coverage, the ratings would be pretty solid, after all, as I said in previous blogs, these athletes are our true heroes. If I were to lose a limb, I think I would just sit at home and feel sorry for myself which, come to think of it is what I do now anyways.

Since I began this blog I have been bombarded by questions and comments. I'm sure you realize that I'm much too busy to respond to all of my fans. I thought now would be a good time to respond to a few of you. Consider this my gift to you, the reader. (What were you expecting? A Quatchi doll?)

Anne Sutherby of Red Deer Alberta asks: 'Clearly you are one of the most brilliant minds of our generation. What made you choose to write blogs as opposed to curing Cancer, solving the Climate Crisis or running for Prime Minister?'

Corey answers: 'I'm glad you picked up on my intelligence. How very astute of you. But please remember that this blog only takes 7 or 8 hours a day. I've had plenty of time to do my Cancer research on Lab rats and Guinea Pigs, talk the Chinese into using Electric Cars and become the leader of the Liberal Party. I've even become the new poster boy for Cheetos Baked Cheezies. Thanks for the question.'

Rebecca Sinclair of Houston Texas asks: 'With your supermodel looks, why aren't you in front of the camera instead of behind a keyboard?'

Corey answers: 'Thank you Rebecca for the question. That's something I get asked all the time. In restaurants, I'm often mistaken for Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Ed Asner. When you look like a supermodel and write like a literary genius it's a tough choice to make. But I made it, and I'm not looking back. Besides, I'll have you know that I was once a model for The Hair Club For Men.

Darren McLeod of Whalley BC writes: 'Your blog has truly given me a reason to live. Before your Easy Chair Olympic Blog I used to spend hours revving up my car in the garage, (Damn those electric cars anyways!!) and several times I overdosed on pills (but then I found out taking a whole bottle of Flintstones Vitamins just gives me gas) but now I feel that you have given me a new lease on life. So thank you for that. My question is, I would compare you to Mark Twain or John Steinbeck. Who were your literary influences growing up?

Corey responds: 'Thank you Mr. McLeod for the kind remarks. I'm sure if I lived in Whalley, I probably would have slit my wrists by now. Hmm, maybe you should have tried that. To answer your question, my influences were definitely Danielle Steel and Dr Seuss.

Camille Fournier of Montreal Quebec asks: 'As a Guinea Pig lover I have to ask, were you serious about doing testing on them for Cancer research?'

Corey answers: 'No Camille. I would never do such a thing. They are way too cute for that. They do however taste great in stew.'

Randy Smith of Peterborough Ontario asks: 'Will there be an Easy Chair Olympic Blog for the Summer Olympics in London in two years?'

Corey answers: 'Another question I get asked a lot. I don't really know. Two years is a long way off. At my age it all depends on whether or not they have the Internet at my nursing home.'

Day 17

It's seems like only yesterday that that snowboarder flew from the video screen and landed smack dab in the middle of BC Place. I guess time flies when you are winning Gold Medals left, right and centre. It's hard to believe this madness that is Vancouver 2010 is coming to an end, but this is it, the final day. Day 17.

Sleep has never been a friend to me, and over these past two and a half weeks it's been as elusive as the Ogopogo. Looking at the pictures of every day of this blog, I'm reminded of Jared Leto in Requiem For A Dream. He looked fine in the beginning of the movie, but by the end he looked like a zombie and had to have his arm chopped off. Well the good news is I still have all my limbs. Last night was no different. I tossed and turned, stressed about the hockey game, worried about Luongo. I bet he probably got a lot more sleep than I did.

I had my Canuck jersey on and Ryan got out his Luongo, Iginla and Crosby figurines and I had my Baked Cheezies, and we were ready for face-off. (Incidentally, Ryan told me when the tournament started that Luongo had to play and then he would put his 3 figurines on the table and they would win Gold.) I said all along that if Luongo just played decent that the US would lose, but I guess I totally underestimated the Americans. They actually played a great game. Ryan Kesler did an amazing job shutting down Sidney Crosby for most of the game, and while Canada was trying to own the podium, Kesler was owning the face-off circle. While I am a big Kesler fan as a Canuck, he is horrible to play against. I don't think I could pay him a bigger compliment. It was a tighter game than I expected. I was kind of missing that wide open Hockey the Russians played, but this was probably the fastest game I've ever witnessed. Regardless of the outcome I was proud of the game of Hockey, and glad the World got to witness just how great it can be. Having said that I wanted Canada to win Gold as much as anyone and through the entire game I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. In The Province they said that Crosby 'saved Canada from a nervous breakdown'. I couldn't disagree more. I had at least three nervous breakdowns before Sid the Kid finally ended the torture and caused me to leap to my feet and circle the room at least two or three times. I will never forget it. It was like I was moving in slow motion, but I swear I did a triple axel, triple lutz combination and I didn't even two-foot the landing. There have been many historic Hockey moments in Canada's history, but I think this one tops them all (Canada winning the Hockey game not my triple-triple combination). And I will be able to tell my Grandkids that I was there in my easy chair watching the whole thing. Eating my Baked Cheezies.

Apparently I wasn't the only one celebrating. They showed aerial views of Yaletown in Vancouver, Yonge Street in Toronto and various other locations across Canada at the exact moment Crosby put the puck in the net and it was so exciting to see thousands upon thousands of Canadians going nuts at the exact same moment. I had tears in my eyes as the celebration continued. Canada beating the US in overtime in the Gold Medal game, the last event of Vancouver 2010? And breaking the record for most Gold Medals by any Country at an Olympic Winter Games? The best screenwriter in the World couldn't have written a better story. (Well he probably would've had a car chase in there somewhere and the guy getting the girl in the end.) I was so happy for Roberto Luongo. It was great to see all of Canada cheering for him for a change. I think he proved himself and in doing so came out from Martin Brodeur's shadow. US coach Ron Wilson after the game said that 'sometimes the best team doesn't win.' I don't know what it is about (most) Americans. Why can't they lose gracefully? While this game could've gone either way, the last time we played them we dominated most of the game and they were lucky to win. The US played very well, but they weren't the best team. I think we proved ourselves.

After all was said and done, Ryan ended up being exactly right in his predictions. Remember I mentioned he had the Luongo, Crosby and Iginla figurines on our table near the tv. Well not only did Luongo play really well but Crosby scored the game winner and Iginla was the one who passed him the puck. That's a little eerie. (I really wonder if he might be psychic. When we watched the Women's Curling Gold Medal game, on Canada's last shot Ryan said that they were going to screw it up and lose the Gold, and he was right. That's kind of creepy.)

It occurred to me today that in all the Men's Hockey coverage of the Olympics, something was missing. And then I realized that there was one key reason why it was so great that CTV was broadcasting the Games and not CBC. No Don Cherry. I didn't miss his ridiculous suits or ridiculous arrogance in the least.

After my heartbeat had slowed and my blood pressure returned to normal I went into town to get some snacks for the Closing Ceremonies. I wore my Canada jersey proudly, and I wasn't the only one. There were also a lot of cars with Canadian flags flowing in the breeze. What has happened to this Nation? Whatever it is, I'm liking it. Anyways, back to the snacks. (See how that always happens?) I bought some sourdough bread, some spinach and artichoke dip, some chip dip, Coke Zero and my infamous Baked Cheezies and a bottle of Chenin Blanc and rushed back home to watch the big finish.

I had such mixed emotions. I was very exited to watch the Closing Ceremonies, but so sad to see it come to an end. I'm sure I wasn't alone in feeling that way. I was pretty emotional all day and knew I needed to have some Kleenex standing by. (I think if I was a celebrity I would be a perfect spokesman for Kleenex and Baked Cheezies. Oh, and Immodium.)

At 5:30 the Closing Ceremonies began. I imagine most of you watched it but I have to tell you I thought the way it began was brilliant. I thought for sure they would've had the torch in place the way it was supposed to be, but they didn't. I love the fact that they made fun of it and had a clown come out to try and fix the problem. Way to turn a negative into something funny and positive. Now how Canadian is that? I would love to write in here how amazing the Closing Ceremonies were and what a fitting way to end an awesome two and a half weeks. But a lot of the Closing Ceremonies just wasn't working for me. Maybe I expected too much. The Opening Ceremonies were so spectacular and so perfect, (well almost perfect) and I guess maybe my expectations were too high. Also, after that amazing and historic Hockey game, how could this not pale in comparison? It took a long time to get going, there were many many songs that were not in English, and some long speeches. A group of people with snowboards came out next while a band I've never heard of sang a song that consisted of "Woah oh oh oh, Vancou-ouver" over and over and over again. Seriously, they went to a commercial, came back and they were still singing it. I've spent months trying to come up with an Olympic song, about the spirit, and about winning, and about uniting as a Nation and as a Planet. I still haven't come up with anything I would consider decent. But these people write "Woah oh oh oh, Vancou-ouver" and it makes it into the Closing Ceremonies? Wow. After all the Olympians took their seats and they brought down the Olympic flag, Neil Young appeared out of nowhere to sing Long May You Run. Right from the opening notes on his harmonica I knew which song it was, and then came the tears. The photo I have added was taken while Neil Young performed. It even sounded like he may have been in key. That was a pretty cool moment. I also really liked the segment involving William Shatner, Catherine O'Hara and Michael J Fox and then the flying Moose and large Beavers. (It's tempting, but I'm not going there, it's too easy.) I appreciated the humour as Canada made fun of itself. Many of the funniest comedians in the World have come from Canada and it's great that they showcased that. Michael Buble did a great job as always. He has so much charisma. I'm glad they got him to perform and this was one of the highlights on the night. However, having one of those Beavers hump Wayne Gretzky's leg would've made that moment even better but for some reason they didn't go that direction. I didn't particularly care for the Eva Avila, Nicky what's-her-face duet. We have an infinite number of talented singers with Worldwide appeal, and they get Eva Avila? I bet none of you can name two songs of hers. (And don't be Googling. Now there's a switch.) I was okay with Nickelback performing. It was a decent enough song, something about OD'ing on drugs and passing out on a floor. Pretty appropriate.

Another highlight I thought was the Sochi, Russia portion of the show. It was pretty impressive. Much better than Canada's moment in the Closing Ceremonies in Turin. At the end of it, a choir came out and sang the Russian anthem. I'm thinking it was about 10 minutes long. I would've had enough time to go into town and get some more Baked Cheezies. Not only was it long, but was it me or did it sound an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman? I was almost expecting Santa and his Reindeer to fly through the rings and land in the middle of BC Place.

After that the party began. Montreal's Simple Plan sang ('How does it feel when you kiss, when you know that I trust you, and do you think about me when he f*$ks you'). Now are those lyrics conducive to the spirit of the Games? And the IOC was upset that our Canadian Women were drinking booze and smoking cigars? Alanis Morissette also sang, and a few songs were sung in French. Personally I think we needed more BC performers and less performers from Ontario and Quebec. (Great, now Camille is going to be pissed at me.) The kicker for me was Avril Lavigne. I'm not a fan but she has Worldwide appeal so I'm okay with her performing. But not only was she the only artist to sing two songs but they were "My Happy Ending" ('don't leave me hanging in a city so dead, held up so high on such a breakable thread) and "Girlfriend" ('so come over here and tell me what I wanna hear, better yet make your girlfriend disappear). Now do you think those are appropriate songs for a Closing Ceremonies? Here I am with Kleenex in hand, expecting to mourn for the end of a great moment in Vancouver history, and Avril is singing something about not liking some guys girlfriend. Sorry. Not working for me.

I remember back in 1984 when the Summer Olympics were in Los Angeles. (Yeah I'm old.) I can distinctly remember sitting in front of our crappy old 26 inch Electrolux watching the Closing Ceremonies. All these years later, there is only one moment that still sticks with me from that day. Among all the stars that performed, all I remember was one unknown Woman who sang "Reach out and touch, somebodies hand, make this World a better place, if you can." No glitz or glamour. No laser beams. No fireworks. Just a Woman singing the song in front of thousands of athletes from around the World all holding hands and swaying to the music. That's what I expected in our Closing Ceremonies. Instead, we got Avril and Simple Plan singing about bad relationships.

I was glad to see Abbotsford's Hedley perform. The lyrics probably weren't appropriate either but at least the title, Cha Ching is pretty fitting. They ended with some unique instrumental band and dancers. I didn't mind it, but at the end they actually had to announce that it was over. I wanted a huge Grand Finale where you know it's over and you don't have to be told. Where was that big Celine Dion chest-beating moment? She was nowhere to be seen. (Probably busy trying to convince Rene Charles to cut his hair.)

If I was running the show, first of all everyone in the stadium would have snacks waiting for them at their seats, how can you sit there that long without snacking? It's unthinkable. Secondly, you gotta liven things up at some point with a streaker. How about Anne Murray? Okay, now I'm going to have nightmares. Seriously though, I would want some good mix of Canadian talent. I'd want Tom Cochrane to sing Life Is A Highway (it even mentions Vancouver's lights), Guess Who to sing Share The Land (I'm not asking, they're the name of a band, sheesh), maybe Rush could sing Closer To The Heart. And for a little Country music, how about Paul Brandt singing Canadian Man, or perhaps even better, Johnny Reid singing Thank You. Now THAT would've been a very memorable tear-jerker.

I hate to bitch about the lip-synching. I know it's almost impossible to have a show of this magnitude and have people singing and playing instruments live, but we as Canadians suck at lip synching. I guess it's to our credit. Our performers always sing live. But I must admit, the lip synching was not only bad, it was distracting, although I'm pretty sure a few of them did sing live.

And then after a Roman Candle or two and maybe a Screecher, the whole thing was over. Monday will be the busiest day at the Vancouver Airport in it's history. All those amazing athletes will head home to various places around the globe. The closed streets will reopen. Even the Liquor Stores downtown will get to stay open past 2 pm (don't even get me started on that one). This city will return to normal, but it will be forever changed, and I'm sure at least a half a million people, years from now, will claim to have been at that Gold Medal Men's Hockey game.

I really hope that Vancouver and Whistler have some sort of celebration every February. I would like to see it be a week long event but I think that is probably unlikely. They could have live music in Yaletown and recreate Robson Square and show the Gold Medal Hockey game and other highlights on big screens. I really hope that they make it happen.

I'm so glad to see these Olympic Games win over a lot of people. I think the people have spoken and they have said that these Games were a good thing. It's just unfortunate the unhappy people also tend to be the most vocal. I truly believe that the legacy Vancouver 2010 leaves behind will be a positive one and this city will prosper for generations to come. Time will tell.

As for me, I will probably write another wrap up blog in the next day or two, and then whenever there is something I feel worthy of discussing. (Although admittedly I could write five or six paragraphs on which tastes better, salt & vinegar or sour cream & onion chips). These Games have inspired me to put down the remote control and get out of my easy chair and do something. I'm going to get some exercise and start eating healthier. Hmm, maybe I could sprinkle some Baked Cheezies on my Caesar Salad.